I came across spinee's post recently, where she blogged about her thoughts on her own funeral - What would she look like? Who would be there? What would she be wearing?
I thought that was a morbid but somehow - an extremely interesting topic. Got me wondering about my own funeral.
I have always believed that my funeral should be a super mega celebration. I am going home to be with the Lord - that's an occasion to rejoice, not mourn! I would hate to see my friends and loved ones turning up in dreary black, grey and white garb, dragging their long face all over the floor.
Nope. That absolutely wouldn't do.
I have decided that my funeral would be one big Rockathon Festival! It will be held in a garden strewn with lilies, lavender and baby breaths.
There will be a little stage for the big local bands that play at Wala Wala and Balaclava. Everyone's supposed to head bang to the hits of Linkin' Park, Bon Jovi, Guns 'N' Roses and Hoobastank. Hell, I wouldn't even mind you guys grooving to Backstreet Boys', I Want It That Way. In fact, that will be the soundtrack for my funeral! Haha...
I will get my ex-colleagues from MTV to film the entire event, and make a mini-show about it. All attendees will be interviewed - and they will all be scripted to say nice things about me! These vox pox will be inter-weaved with the band performances, montage of people dancing, and any other performances, if any. Yen will be the executive producer of this half-hour special.
I may even request for a Jazz band to wrap up the night. Thought it would be kinda romantic to listen to the jazz crooner's rendition of La Vie En Rose, don't you think? That's when there will be free flow of champagne sponsored by Moet and Chandoen. I may even throw in Heineken beer for good measure.
Food will be buffet style, Thai and Cosmopolitan cuisine. Even as I lay dead, I still want my spicy food.
I shall implement a dress code - Sexy Chic. Don't want anyone to disgrace me by turning up in funeral palettes. No black. No grey. No whites. Those who flout the dress code will be turned away nicely by my utterly gorgeous Morque Bouncers - specially handpicked by moi.
Come on, die also must die in STYLE ok? I will insist to be dressed in my ultra sexy top with that plunging neckline - with makeup by Lancome and hair by Vidal Sasson. Oh - do throw in my Spongebob Squarepants soft toy too. A sensual person like me need something to hug remember?
I have a good mind to roll out a marketing campaign for this gala event, being the marketing guru that I am. :)
Will get someone to set up a microsite so that everyone can log in to view how my make up and hair will be done so that I would look good for D-day. The URL will be www.prettydead.com. Pretty when dead. Cool huh?
And of course, by then I will be pretty dead too as well.
Undoubtedly, the main content for the microsite will be everything about me, myself and I. This entire blog will be probably be archived there as well - sort of like an Anne Frank's diary, you know?
Guests can leave their well-wishes (not condolences) in the e-guestbook and download photos of me - taken while I was still young and hot. Friends can also upload their photos, artwork, poems and create e-cards. There will even be mp3s hosted online for friends to dedicate my favourite songs to me, as well as an interactive forum for people to discuss or bitch about how they feel about me.
All my closest friends, business associates, colleagues and loved ones will be invited to the funeral via SMS (I am geek what - what to do?). Show the SMS at the Morque to get a free goodie bag - which probably includes my photo with my signature - plus all the MTV merchandise that I could not bring along with me on my journey to heaven.
RSVPs will be channelled through the website - cos obviously I will not be there to pick up calls.
I was thinking if one of my MTV VJ friends can host my Rockathon Festival. Maybe if Donita Rose or Utt is still around, I can engage them for this event. I am sure they will not mind.
Since it's Rockathon Festival, it would be an all-night affair. People can arrive and leave at any time, and there will still be music and performances to entertain everyone. Maybe Eisen can perform some magic tricks there too. By then he would be Singapore's very own David Copperfield.
At the end of the party, there shall be a quiet ceremony where all the guests would sing my favourite Christian song - "Above All". If you do not know the song, you will be able to download the mp3 and lyrics from that same microsite. So do memorize it before you come for the festival.
Finally, we will wind up the party with a splendid group photo - to commemorate the number of people that remembers me and bothers to attend my funeral.
And henceafter, I will be laid to rest forever (actually I will be gallivanting in heaven).
Thank you all for attending my funeral.