Dark by Spinewinder
Sometimes I wonder if I am too nice. So much so that I suspect people are starting to take advantage of my kindness and good nature.
I have always been told that I have a high tolerance level - particularly when it comes to people. Perhaps there's really some truth in that observation. I couldn't help but wonder - am I constantly being taken for granted?
The people who actually do that - I find are not merely limited to strangers and acquaintances. Friends, colleagues and even family members - are probably as equally guilty in testing my patience, if not more.
I have met people who have bitched about me to those I know and care about, and yet have the audacity to ask me for favours.
I have come across people who could not deliver what they have been told to do, but yet expect to be rewarded handsomely.
I have seen people who could not take nor follow simple instructions, and yet think they deserve more.
I am torn when people let me down, and yet continue to behave as if they have done nothing wrong.
I am especially disheartened by people who know I would be upset with their actions, but yet don't have the decency to stop making excuses for themselves.
I even struggle with those who explicitly lay their cards out on the table stating their demands/goals, and yet are so unwilling to make personal sacrifices to achieve them.
Somehow, these people have it in their heads that they can get away with it - taking me for granted. I am beginning to think that they have mistakenly misjudged my silence for approval, and my calm disposition as an endorsement of their selfishness.
I don't think they know me at all, and I don't think they are even vaguely aware of how I feel about them. Perhaps because of my amazing ability to tolerate such nonsense and hold my temper in check, these people have eventually convinced themselves that I wouldn't mind / I wouldn't be angry / I wouldn't react - no matter how audacious / selfish / unreasonable / demanding they are.
Perhaps because I have always held back my stinging opinions so that I don't hurt the people I care about, they naturally assume their self-serving actions and decisions will not bother me one bit.
How wrong can they be.
Just like a pressure cooker, there's only so much shit one can hold under the cover. I will obviously hit boiling point one day - and I can only hope when that day finally comes, these people who took me for granted can find a good place to hide their sorry faces - so that they don't get my shit exploding all over them.
"Most human beings have an absolute and infinite capacity for taking things for granted." ~ Aldous Huxley