I'm a simple girl with a li'l dream, of seeing her humble works in exquisite print, to share with all who feels for words, written with
an unsupressable urge. So indugle in my fantasies, and plow your way through my memories, greatly appreciated you will be,
if you can leave your comments here for me.

Monday, April 21, 2008

ladies & gentlemen, this is my song

Artwork by ~Blinnie

I was surfing the world wide web when I came across this guy named Jerry Herman who wrote a song called "I Am What I Am".


His lyrics are pretty apt - and maybe I am bias, but it does speaks of how I feel and how I view my life. Unfortunately I do not know how it sounds like, and some parts seem a bit gay. But what the heck. Enjoy.


I am what I am, I am my own special creation
So come take a look, give me the hook or the ovation
It's my world that I want to have a little pride in
My world and it's not a place I have to hide in
Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say, hey world
I am what I am

I am what I am, I don't want praise I don't want pity
I bang my own drum, some think it's noise I think it's pretty
And so what if I love each feather and each spangle
Why not try to see things from a different angle
Your life is a sham 'til you can shout out loud
I am what I am

I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces
There's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say, hey world
I am what I am

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

10 Things Women Look For In A Man

Artwork by *JacquiJax

It was on the morning show on radio today. The DJ was listing the 10 things women look for in a man, which includes normal stuff such as:

  • Is he generous?
  • Is he bitter about his past relationships?
  • Does he pay attention and listen to you, even when he is talking about himself?
  • Is he engaging?
  • Does he have a sense of humour?
  • How is he compared to her ex?

...and the list goes on.

Funny how such "most wanted" lists are always very one sided. A guy I once dated commented how girls are always checking the boys off their incredibly long "laundry" list. The criteria for their ideal man often runs the length of an expressway, and scales the height of the world's tallest skyscraper.

"So..." my date asked, "What do girls do to ensure that they are perfect in every way possible should their "ideal" guy come by one day?"

He continued, "I mean to be fair, if a girl expects so much of a man, she must look at herself first and go through the same mental checklist of what she should do to be the ideal woman for that perfect guy."

That really got me thinking. And I finally realise why the wise guys said that "the truth hurts, but it will set you free."

Women do expect a lot from their men. They want them to be strong and dependable, but yet be achingly romantic and emotionally sensitive to their needs. Their men gotta be financially dependent and preferably generous, with the ability to afford their lifestyles. They love smart guys who can engage them on an intellectual level, and who can say all the right things at the right time.

The wishlist of a typical woman goes on to describe someone who is well-groomed and good looking, fiercely loyal but yet, has a little naughty "bad boy" streak in him at the same time. He must have ambition and drive, knows when to shower tons of love upon her and when to back off and give her that breathing space that she desperately needs.

A peep into my girlfriends' wishlists for their "ideal man" reveals at least 75% of the criteria mentioned above. Some had even more specific requirements: "He must be at least 1.8m tall"; "He should at least have a university degree"; "He should come from a good family" ...yup, that list almost reads like a recruitment ad for a talent from Havard.

Which leads me back to my date's question: How many similar requirements would a woman fulfil on this perfect man's "recruitment" ad should he have one?

It's painful when the tables are turned upon you, isn't it?

You start to look at yourself and realise that you are not a boobsy supermodel with shapely legs up to her chest. Neither are you a fantastic cook with legendary culinary skills that can entrap any man's heart. You are probably stuck with an awfully boring job that will not offer many stimulating conversations between you and your ideal man. You graduated from a normal school with average grades and like all women, you are also probably emotional and often fraught with mood swings. You nag, complain and whine a lot - and you find it hard to forgive and forget, especially when he does you wrong. And more often than not, you may be more caught up with how you are feeling than how you are making him feel.

If the above sounds a lot like you, then maybe it's time to relook at your wishlist - and understand that every perfect man deserves a perfect woman. And if you are less than perfect, you need to be more realistic in the kind of man you are looking for.

Go for the intrinsic qualities which would make a man someone who is worthy of your love and devotion. Sometimes you might discover that for such a man, the wishlist might not even exceed three key criteria.

Every woman look for different things in their man. I can't tell you what your wishlist should look like, but what you can take away from today's post is - Start looking at the man-woman relationship from both sides of the toast: How you want to be loved, and how you want to love your man.

When you learn to develop a wishlist that is not purely one-sided, you will find that your ideal man is really not that hard to find.

Friday, April 11, 2008

my soccer jersey

I must be really bored. I don't even watch the World Cup. The only thing I know about soccer is David Beckham, Michael Owen and Pele. So why the hell do I need a jersey?

But I love the number 33 and I thought it would look really cool on a soccer jersey.

Customized Soccer Jersey - ImageChef.com

Actually, what really got me all "excited" about this little boys' game was that I've been tasked to organise an inter-bank soccer tournament in May. The thought of 10 sweating men grunting and shoving each other on the field, trying to cajole a little black & white ball between the hairy legs of another grown man into a gaping net - is quite arresting indeed.

So with that powerful image in my mind, I went about my day selecting trophies that will embellish their win, and reaffirm their mastery of The Ball & The Net.

Then I tried to redesign the jersery, spending a brainless afternoon moving the tournament logo all over the shirt and trying to decide on the one perfect spot where it would look great, and not just "good". Yes, I am THAT anal.

With that out of the way, I decided to take a break from all that testosterone stuff and design my own cute jersery. Which leads us to the beginning of this blog entry.

I must be really bored.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

it's been a long week

..or rather a really long month.

too much work. not enough sleep. brain dead. feeling a little lost. and i think age has something to do with the way i feel.

physically and emotionally.

getting fat. metabolic rate is declining faster than the US stock market. energy levels at all time low. water retention. feeling bloated.

don't feel so good about myself. strange. I was never that self conscious. Somehow, people's remarks about how bad i look now are getting to me. I hate it and I am fighting it, but it's wearing me out.

sometimes i wish people will leave me alone.