I'm a simple girl with a li'l dream, of seeing her humble works in exquisite print, to share with all who feels for words, written with
an unsupressable urge. So indugle in my fantasies, and plow your way through my memories, greatly appreciated you will be,
if you can leave your comments here for me.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

year in rewind

Photo by mjagiellicz

one more day to 2007. how time flies. literally. it's like a super jet powered with accelerated turbo engines speeding into yet another zone leaving many people, many memories and many histories behind.

2006 was an interesting year.

Thailand ousted its President in a bloodless coup. Its people are now more frustrated than before.

Singapore chose its ruling party in a highly controversial - and perhaps - the most amusing election ever.

Saddam was executed. Not without the sacrifice of many lives, of course.

I got a new job - which took up much of my time because I have to pick up everything from scratch. New colleagues, new environment, new nuances that come with the work.

But among all these things that are flitting by every day, 2006 to me, is nothing more than a year of great expectations and emotions.

2006 is a year of many broken-hearted souls. much tears and sadness. loss of self worth. extreme disappointment. women i know are going through so much pain everywhere i turn.

they are beautiful and strong in spirit. they are smart and make fantastic conversationalists. all of them have lots of love to offer and are big hearted towards friends and families too.

why is it then that they keep meeting men who are either stringing them along, making excuses for not wanting to commit, blowing hot and cold, or bailing out on them when these girls need them most?

what is wrong with the men? they keep respawning, like the mobs in World of Warcraft. No amount of hellfire can get rid of them.

and the girls keep falling and waltzing around these guys - wishin' & hopin' they will come round one day and accept them.

meanwhile, the guys have moved on. with another life. another woman. another world. another time. they will entertain you from time to time, but that's about it.

many men told me before that if a guy really loves someone, he will go all out for her. there is no need to tap dance around a guy to make him like you. but i see the girls gorging their hearts out to men who trample on them callously and leave them out in the cold to be devoured by wolves. i can't help feeling pained.

the girls say i am a distrusting cynic. talking to me is depressing because i seemed to diss and have nothing good to say about the men in their lives. the very same men whom i predicted are not serious about them and will break their fragile hearts if they don't walk away - fast. somehow, my blunt comments suddenly became self-fulfilling prophecies?

or was i only being perceptive and intuitive, having had so many bad relationships in the past that i can profile any type of man based on the kind of girl he goes for, the things he say, the actions that follow and his thought processes - just like what an FBI criminal profiler would do to identify his UNSUB (also known as unknown suspect).

i pick up all these obvious clues almost instantaneously and can almost map out the next steps these guys are going to say or do. it tortures me as much to see them actually doing the things to my friends as i said they would. this would be the one time in my life i really hate to be right.

but i don't deny i am a cynic, and i may be wrong at times. i may be unforgiving, unrelenting and insensitive. i may be critical and judgemental. but my intentions are not to hurt you but to keep you away from what i perceive is harm.

people ask me for advice. they confide in me. they want my opinions. i am not sure how much of those they can take - because the truth always hurts.

so i am beginning to say less, and just listen more. that's why God gave us a pair of ears and only one mouth, isn't it? i just can't offer anything more than my absolute honesty, and how i truly feel. i don't want to lie to make you feel good. and if i am a cynic, that's because i am who i am, and i survived till today with that mentality so i think i have a good reason to be one.

you can ask me again how I feel 50 years down the road, and my answer will still be the same. they are just not worth it if they cannot return your love. but if i cannot convince you that you are more important than the man who does not care about your heart, the day will come when i will tell you - please just do what you want if it takes that to make you really, really happy.

they used to say time and tide waits for no man.

i wanna say to you - it will definitely NOT wait for any woman.

it sucks. but that's life. leave your baggages behind. things that have passed should stay in the past.

happy new year and move on.
it's 2007 already.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Monday, December 11, 2006

a talent showcase

i love christmas. very much indeed. it's the season for giving, loving and forgivin'. though i feel we should be doing these anyway no matter when or where, but i guess the peace and joy exuded by the spirit of Christmas - somehow made it easier to do so.

i have a very talented girlfriend who makes beautiful jewellery for the modern and stylish ladies. she impresses me a great deal because each of these 'precious' are crafted and exquisitely put together with a lot of thought, creativity, passion and time. i for one, have toes for my fingers. i would probably destroy anything delicate or dainty that comes my way.
yup. i am a ruffian - and i can't do anything about it.

but this girl (her name's Dorothy by the way), she's a gem herself. i would like to use this blog of mine to showcase her amazing work and if any of you out there are looking for special Christmas and birthday gifts for ladies, sisters, mums, colleagues, lovers, girlfriends, wives or your potential 'targets" - this collection would make a very unique and thoughtful gift as it is handmade - with lots of love. :)

If you like what you see, please drop Dorothy Lee a note at clardot@gmail.com.

Broaches and Bracelets

B01 - To Paris with Love Cameo brooch with an eiffel tower charm makes your girl feel like she has just stepped off the streets of Paris. ~ S$15

B02: Eternity
Girly gold bracelet with painted rose pearl and gorgeous crystals, perfect for that Christmas party. ~ S$25

B03: The Royal Charm
Gorgeous three strand yellow and rose gold bracelet intertwined with bronze and white pearls, topped with a garnet red and white crystal charm. ~ S$35

B04: Perfect in Black
A black and gold bracelet with a chinois twist for that little black dress. ~S$25

B05: Forget Me Knot
A beautiful gold Chinese frog button adds a touch of chinois chic to this bracelet. ~ S$25

B06: Rock My World
Pair this rock chick bracelet with jeans and t-shirt for a look that screams Stylish! ~ S$25

B07: Midnight Blue
Wearing black and blue has never been so cool. ~ S$20

B08: Pretty In Pink
This fuchsia and baby pink jade bracelet will bring out the sweet gal in you. ~ S$30

B09: Ocean of Dreams

Faux pearls the colour of the ocean and an anchor charm to remind you of that dream cruise getaway. ~ S$20


ER01: The Oriental Breeze
The exquisite fan charm adds a touch of sophistication to this pair of earrings. ~ S$15

ER02: Distinctively Yours
This lovely rose gold pair with random splashes of black and white pearls will definitely garner you many envious glances. ~ S$15

ER03: Asian Fusion
A perfect marriage of emerald, fushia and hot pink. Definitely eye-catching. ~ S$10

ER04: Key To My Heart
A unique combination of different textures makes this pair so hard to resist. ~ S$18

Er05: All That Glitters
This pair adds a touch of elegance to that gorgeous gown. I love this so much that I made a pair for myself. ~ S$18

Bag Charms

BC01: Flyin' Free
A pretty glass butterfly and red rose bead make this bag charm so unique. ~ S$25

BC02: Emerald Dreams
Jazz up your bag with this emerald faux pearl and crystal strand charm. ~ S$25

BC03: Snow White
This is my favourite bag charm. I love its pure colours of white, champagne and gold. ~ S$29

BC04: Simply Me
A touch of simplicity with elegance and style . ~ S$25


N01: Aphrodisiac
A beautiful shell pendant choker for that candlelight dinner by the beach. ~ S$27

N02: Sexbomb
Draw attention to a plunging neckline with a splash of emerald, fuchsia and gold. ~ S$27

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

These items are all available and will be made upon request. Dorothy's the master jewel crafter you should be looking for and she will take all queries and orders at clardot@gmail.com.

Friday, December 08, 2006

gotta take a break...

...it's been two hectic months. never knew i could be so busy. came back and crashed every night - too tired to think, eat, write or do anything else.

it's time for a break...and i m going off to Bali tommorow.

office retreat...so well..a free trip is always good.

packed my ipod, a crime thriller and some dvds. gonna chill and rest, and sleep and tan. i will be back soon so please stick ard.

dorothy, if you are reading this, i will post your stuff when i'm back oK? sorry babe - been rushing some projects so i couldn't find time.

take care guys. see you soon. i promise. :)

Sunday, November 12, 2006


I've always believe if you dare to dream, you will be able to achieve it one day through small baby steps. Each step may look pretty insignificant at first, but it takes you a bit closer to your ultimate destination. When you add up all these little steps, they will evenutally become that one giant leap intto achieving your dreams.

If you have been long staying guests of Hotel Solace, you'd know my dream is to be a writer, hopefully a much celebrated one. Writing and publishing the English creative writing workbook was that first li'l step for me. proJectpinK - which is still under compilation - would be my next baby step.

And today, I formed WriteClique - An exclusive writers' e-club where you will enjoy total literary freedom and meet people brimming with the same fiery passion for writing.

I am someone who writes better than I can ever express myself in any other form. Deep inside me, I've got this feeling that most writers are probably like me. A writers' network such as WriteClique attempts to bring these talented, like minded people together to share their passion for the written word. And hopefully, through this intricate network, we will be able to tap on to each other's talents and experiences, and work on interesting writing projects that will fulfil everyone's hidden desire to be a published author.

The forum is strictly for everything and anything related to writing only. That will cover all forms of writing - copy writing, screenwriting, authoring of books, articles, online content, fiction writing etc.

This e-group will focus on the following key interest areas:

- International Freelance Writing assignments
- WriteClique Writing Projects (e.g. proJectpinK)
- Pitches to media and publishers for selected writers' work
- Career opportunities in writing
- Writing tips and experiences (both good and bad ones!)
- Writing courses/workshops
- Exchanging of ideas, inspiration and dreams
- Sharing your Works/Poems/Prose
- Writing Events and Competitions
- Post your Writing CV (under FILES)
- Promote your written material/books
- Publishers information
- World of WriteClique networking events
- ... and any other writing stuffies!

If you like what you have read and share our dreams and passion, subscribe to our group at writeclique-subscribe@yahoogroups.com, with a paragraph on why you would want to be part of this international writers' network.

“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go,
only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.”
~ Karen Ravn

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

the treadmill

by ~protozoario

Beloved guests of Hotel Solace - I am back! A long hiatus I must agree, but as you know, October was a mad month for me.

I have survived it, and sucking my stomach in for November. Working out my marketing budgets for next year, and it looks wonderful! At least I will get some of my marketing wishlist fulfilled! And that means I am potentially going to roll out some strong branding, marketing, PR and advertising initiatives that will potentially benefit Singapore, KL and HK in a BIG way. As of today, I've also managed to convince Japan to take part in some of my marketing ideas for Asia - and that's a thrill!

The other good news is - I am finally getting my temp marketing assistant! That's absolutely divine because I do not have to work my bones off so much anymore. He's coming in for an interview tomorrow morning - and I am keeping my fingers crossed that my boss approves of him. :)

Recently, I seem to have loads and loads of ideas that are bursting out of me. I want to do so many things. I want to create so many stuff. Everything's tumbling over each other at rocket speed inside my head that I couldn't sleep. I keep wondering what I could have done, what I have to do, what I can possibly achieve and more's out there for me to experiment and execute to get it all together.

My brain's racing ahead of me and if I do not know myself better, I would have suspected that I am on drugs. I can't stop thinking about stuff. My mind's a hyper-activity hub that operates 24/7. And I don't know why.

Sometimes I burnt myself out just trying to do everything. It seems I am so afraid that I may just die tomorrow with much remorse and regret if I cannot fulfil all I wanted to do. I race against time every single day, just so I can satisfy all the desires, great ideas, wonderful plans and my dreams. Every single success and accomplishment gets ticked off from my life's TO DO list, and it almost feels like a drug addiction that I crave for to keep me alive.

If I were to stop whatever I am doing, I just might wither and die. I wanted so much to rest sometimes, but I can't stop running. The feeling's like running on a treadmill that couldn't be turn off.

But the funny thing is, I am high on work. And I am very happy.

I think I am insane.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

da agonising aunt

not long ago, I posed some questions here which interestingly generated many heartwarming responses. they are also sincere, extremely sensible and solid advice from some of you here.

my take? since i am the only one who carries the burden of the full story behind each of these questions, I shall answer them the way i know best, and the way I know how.

what would i say...

1) ...to a guy friend who ask you what a man must do to make the girl he loves happy?

many times i know of men who do things they think will make the girl happy. many times i have tried telling men that's not the point.

don't do the things that you think I like. do the things I really like.

but first of all, do you know what I like?

making a girl feel loved isn't really rocket science. don't give her roses when she likes cactus. don't give her chocolates when she doesn't have a sweet tooth. don't take her out to watch horror films if she prefers comedies. don't give logical solutions to issues that she's worried about, when all she needs is an understanding ear.

A girl would be presently surprised if a guy takes time to learn more about her - her preferences, idiosyncracies, habits, soft spots, favourites etc.

She will feel extremely pampered if you can 'read' her mind, pre-empt what she wants to say or do, or say the things she wants to hear. She will be truly flattered if you know exactly what she wants from the menu; which song to put on the CD player; when she needs a massage; or how many spoonfuls of sugar for her cuppa tea.

And all it takes is a little more observation; a little more probing, and a little more attentiveness.

2) ...to a girl who is in love with someone she does not really trust?

i would give you all the advice you can take. but i realised after going through so many rounds of heart-to-heart talk sessions, you really don't need any advice at all. deep down inside every woman, there is a logic alarm that ticks away every time we get stuck in situations like this.

women cannot stop rationalising every single issue.

they know exactly what they should or should not be doing. but the heart wins over the mind - 90% of the time - because we are such emo creatures. they go through meaningless and seemingly hopeless situations anyway even if it hurts the hell out them.

and i realise the best advice i can ever, ever give to a girl friend is - do what your heart tells you. whatever i say will not do anything for you if your emotions have already overwhelmed your sensibility and judgement. do what you want. pursue what you desire. do everything that defies all logic so that you will never be plagued with "what ifs" and regrets 10 years down the road.

at the end of the day, if you do get hurt or disappointed, i will be here to catch you when you fall.

3) ...to a good friend who prefers to leave her life to Fate, and believes she's meant to be lonely and loveless?

if you leave your life to 'Fate', don't just leave 20% or 30% of it, simply because it seems like the best excuse you can give to yourself for a particular portion of your life that is going wrong. let 100% of your life be controlled by Fate - not just love, but money, the way you look, your behaviour, the way men treats you, your friends, your family, your work, your studies, your confidence, your sense of pride, and all your successes and failures.

there's really no need to fight for or prove anything at all. just be fatalistic all the way - and tell youself that's how your life is going to be and will never change or improve. you can't do anything about it no matter what kind of shit comes your way.

and you cannot really claim any credit to your name for all the good things that happened either. seriously, if Fate was ever in the picture, surely you wouldn't be so delusional as to actually believe that it's all your hard work, persistence and optimisim?

don't leave Fate to only control how and where your relationships will end up, but tell me you are in control for the other aspects of your life. Fate doesn't discriminate which part of your life to influence or take over. If you believe in Fate, naturally you have to accept that you simply have no choice in life. zilch. remember you don't have any control over or run it anymore.

everything is up to Fate. and so it shall be. for love and everything else. for now and eternity.

4) ...to a sister who is hurting from the loss of one love, and confused about the love from another?

do not do unto others what you would not want others to do unto you. give yourself a chance to learn how to let go, and a chance to learn how to love again. it's ok to be confused, because we are like that most of the time anyway.

but it's not ok to drag someone else into the mess when you are not ready. it's bad enough that you are hurting. it's irresponsible to disregard the feelings of the one who loves you.

if you are ever confused and hurting at the same time, what you really need is a break from relationships. i've heard the part where you need to be with another new love interest to let go of the one that soured.

take it from a seasoned woman like me - it ain't gonna work.

you will just keep changing the men till you stop hurting, and that may take a while. for me, it took many wrong and short-lived trial relationships to understand how screwed up i've become. how needy and eager for attention and company i've become. how much of my whole self-worth has been built around how much love i can get from a man. it's not healthy for your emotional well-being, and it's unfair to burden someone else with the brunt of your confusion.

in that relationship-bulldozing process, you are just going to get more dysfunctional, more confused and be constantly looking for love at all the wrong places.

confusion clouds the brain and that's as simple as i can put it. it is the corniest and oldest line in the aunt agony book - but time truly lifts those dark clouds and gives you the space you need to think. and it definitely heals all wounds.

once you start thinking, you would know what will be the next best thing to do - not only for yourself, but for the ones who love you.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

what have i done?

looking at my to do list today, i discovered i have 9 events this month! was i in a trance when i planned for these events? the invites, logistics, rsvps, presentations...gee... maybe Elvina is trying to remove me from the face of this earth so that she can truly exist without me.

that's my lifelong affliction. i get so immersed with my job that i will take on projects after projects - as if i have an insatiable appetite for work. then i will start wondering why i can never finished my stuff. do a quick checklist and horrors! - it runs 4 pages long.

photo taking session for senior management team. rugby gala dinner. tree top hill run with senior level clients. movie screening of The Departed. cooking competition with clients. three forums where my bosses have been invited to participate as panelists. and one CEO breakfast seminar.

i used to think my job expects too much from me. but then, each new job i end up with seems to consume more of me than the previous one. i figured that either i have subconsciously taken on careers that are hiding behind the facades of Nazi torture camps, or i am gravely afflicted with OCDWWIC - Obssessive Compulsive Disorder Where Work Is Concerned.

anyway, this post is also a lame excuse for me to buy some time before my next post - where i shall be posting my responses for the previous post. i have read all your comments and wow - am i impressed. with all those wonderful advice, maybe i should start a dedicated counselling blog for friends or bloggers with REAL love/relationship issues, and invite all of you to offer that sincere agonising aunty advice. the different perspectives and viewpoints have made the last post - a truly heartwarming and wonderful read.

i feel quite extra now.

but i do love an interactive blog. and it's only possible when you guys take the time to share and pen your thoughts. personally, i learnt so much from all of you, and each of you.

don't stop dropping by, even if i am drowning in the load of shit that i've created for myself. i will be back with more inspirations, more musings & more of meself (assuming you are even interested).

till the next time i blog incoherently just to fill this black blob of space, stay healthy and wash your hands after visiting the loo.

this is elvina - reporting live from her pile of shit.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

what do you say...

by Sukihana

1) ...to a guy friend who ask you what a man must do to make the girl he loves happy?

2) ...to a girl who is in love with someone she does not really trust?

3) ...to a good friend who prefers to leave her life to Fate, and believes she's meant to be lonely and loveless?

and finally...

4) ...to a sister who is hurting from the loss of one love, and confused about the love from another?

I find myself answering these life questions and many others over the last three weeks. I am really not the best person to dish out any advice on life's most profound issues, but I try...because you asked.

And sometimes, I just wanna give even if you don't ask...because I truly care.

If you want to attempt to offer some insights to the questions above, please post them in the comments. As for my responses...well, let's just say they will be the topic of my next post.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

seafood & shisha

I am organising a belated birthday party for my girl friend Vivienne tomorrow evening. To de-stress myself (I have been drowning in work for the last two weeks!), I decided to create an invitation card just for her.

Close your dropping jaw please. It isn't my design. It was a shameless rip-off from my favourite creative website - www.deviantart.com. The real Picasso is Mahfia.

All I did was to put in those crazy little words and viola! - behold the surreal masterpiece.

Seafood's on the menu - followed by an evening of Shisha indulgence at a Moroccan lounge, Marrakesh.

Here's sneak preview of our dinner....

Chili Crab @Jumbo Seafood Restaurant

...and the place where we are going to unwind.

Marrakesh Lounge

If you wanna see the photos of our 'wild revelry' tomorrow night, please send a US$50 check to: ILUVVIVI Secret Pix, P.O. Box 290906.

Otherwise, all you get to see on this blog will be the ones where we pretend to be boring.

I need to sleep. seriously.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

For The Last Time...

I am NOT Andrew.

There is this 40-ish to 50-year old lady who has been calling my mobile asking for Andrew. The first few times when she called, I said, "Sorry auntie, I think you got the wrong number."

Few weeks later, she called for Andrew again. Multiple times. I took a deep breath and said as nicely as I could muster,"Auntie, there is NO Andrew here. You called the wrong number."

Auntie called again a month later. "Can you please check the number before you call? This is NOT Andrew's mobile." I could almost hear myself losing my cool.

"Auntie! This is my number, NOT Andrew's number! Please don't call me anymore looking for Andrew because there is no such person!" said an exasperated me, a few months later to the persistent Auntie. I have really lost it this time.

Early this year, she called again. The moment I picked up, I tried to use my most menacing mafia voice ever and growled,"You have called this number many, many, many times! How many times must I tell you that you've got the wrong number? I am NOT Andrew ok? Don't call this number again!"

The calls stopped after that.

I was at a seminar yesterday afternoon, having a fruitful discussion with an ex-colleague whom I happened to run into. The phone rang. In a swift reflex motion, I answered it with my chirpy voice, "Heh-llo"?

"Eh elo....Is Andrew there?"

It's the Return of The Auntie.

It's been two years now, and she's still calling my bloody number looking for her bloody Andrew. I want to tighten my fingers around Andrew's neck so much.

The little red devil with the forked tail in me really wanted to scream at her, and asked her why da hell she keeps calling the same number looking for the same idiot when I have told her umpteen times that she had got it wrong.

I wanted to yell and shake her and insist that she writes her stupid Andrew's name and REAL phone number on the wall in blood and get herself a phone that has number pad dials as big as her bedroom.

I even wanted to threaten to sue her for harassing me, though I have a nagging feeling that she simply kept dialling the wrong number due to dementia.


"Wrong number." My voice came out flat and emotionless, and I hung up the phone almost the same time I said it. The little white angel with fluffy wings has won the battle.

Somehow, I knew the phone would ring again. Someday.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Photo Blog: Hong Kong (Part 3)

Ok guys - these would be the last batch of my photos in HK, because the rest are just silly shots of everything and anything that caught my eye. :)

I don't have many pics on scenery this time - sorry Richard! - but hope you like it still.

Trip to Shenzhen (China)

The adventurous spirit in us struck again! We took an express train from HK to Shenzen, one of the shopping havens at the outskirts of China.

You can tell we are trying really hard to capture the location signage behind us.

Before we went on our party spree, we had a yummy dinner and more photos at this Spanish resturant in SoHo.

Michelle looking classic in a black and white photo.

My attempt at taking a stylish catwalk-style photo.

Hong Kong without colours somehow look quite exotic.

Lan Kwai Fong - Hong Kong's most happening party strip!

That's all folks! I will be back with some insightful topics - to share with you guys. Blog with you soon! :)

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Photo Blog: Hong Kong (Part 2)

You know what? I took so many photos that I really couldn't remember which day they belong to. So I am just going to put them up in 'parts' instead haha!

Part 2 took us to some of the best sights, food and entertainment in Hong Kong. Let's the photos do the talking while I bring you all along with me on this virtual holiday.

Let's start with some scenery along the roads, shall we?

The long and winding roads

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I simply love the mood and feel black and white photos convey.

Tsim Sha Tsui - Nice area located on Kowloon where my hotel was.

An amazing architectural wonder - Bank of China tower.
You have to see it for yourself to be awed by the strips of blinding light that wraps itself across the entire building. We were transfixed.

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Thought this shot looks cool.
A quaint electric bus stopping at a bus stop in the still of the night.

My girlfriends posing in front of the Peak tram.

Views of Hong Kong from The Peak.

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The Peak Resturant.

Food. Glorious Food. Yum.

Our first peek at nightlife in Hong Kong - Lan Kwai Fong.
We were there every night thereafter.

More photos coming up in Part 3...