by Sukihana
and finally...
And sometimes, I just wanna give even if you don't ask...because I truly care.
1) ...to a guy friend who ask you what a man must do to make the girl he loves happy?
2) ...to a girl who is in love with someone she does not really trust?
3) ...to a good friend who prefers to leave her life to Fate, and believes she's meant to be lonely and loveless?
and finally...
4) ...to a sister who is hurting from the loss of one love, and confused about the love from another?
I find myself answering these life questions and many others over the last three weeks. I am really not the best person to dish out any advice on life's most profound issues, but I try...because you asked.
And sometimes, I just wanna give even if you don't ask...because I truly care.
If you want to attempt to offer some insights to the questions above, please post them in the comments. As for my responses...well, let's just say they will be the topic of my next post.
17 comments:
1) Speak Her primary and secondary love language, 5 in all. find the one she speaks the most. Yours would probably be Words of affirmation and Quiet time.
2) Learn to BUILD trust that person. To build somthing, it's always done one brick at a time. Little by little.
3) Quote Jeremiah 29:11 - and remind her that God will create circumstances, but he will never intrude your free will to decide the outcome of them. Then respect her decision whatever the outcome may be.
4) Put the next love on hold (KIV), let time heal the previous hurt,aka keep herself busy. If he truly loves her, then she won't worry he will move on to someone else. But above all do encourage the person you put on hold.
ok... done... should work.
wait... let me requote the answer for No.2
2) Learn to BUILD trust that person. To build somthing, it's always done one brick at a time. Little by little.
To build a home/house. You need to build foundations. it's like knowing someone as a friend. That's when you decide to build the walls, one memories at a time. Bricks are like events, held together with the cement of love.
Soon, you get your home done.
Remember that most thing is life, is easy to obtain, difficult to maintain..
Apologies for being too brief... =P
1) guess u doesn't love her deep enuf to know wat makes her happy...
2) tot tat love is built on trust
3) i do believe alot in fate...but i also believe tat there r some1 for every1 out there...its jus when
4) dun mess up a new relationship with a already messed up one
anyway...i tink i shld be the last person to give advice on such issues....but happen to pop by...can't help to write someting...can jus ignore me..
1) If a man must ask this question, then this man probably
a) doesn't know this girl well
b) doesn't know what love is
To love a girl is to give her the freedom to give her her own space.
To love a girl is to be careful you do not become too possessive.
To love a girl is to not let jealousy create hallucinations.
To love a girl is to accept her criticisms and be willing to change for the better.
To love a girl is to listen to her when she's feeling down, and listen to her even if she's not.
To love a girl is to accept her minor imperfections, because you're not perfect either.
To love a girl is to respect her, above all else.
2) Love is blind as many say
It is never quite as clear as day.
But thread carefully this rocky path
The road can oftentimes, be a little rough.
A two-timing man is a greedy man
I won't give him much, at most a friend.
True love is of give and take
Equal measures both sides must stake.
If this is a man you love and yet don't trust
Is this love an absolute must?
Measure what it is you do
Does he give back as much to you?
3) If you believe you're destined to be lonely and loveless, then well, you will most likely turn out so.
However, to answer this question fully, one must first understand the situation this girl is in, what made her come to this conclusion.
It is good to believe in Fate to help overcome life's ups and downs, but it is never good to let Fate affect one's decicions.
Instead of believing oneself to be forever lonely and loveless, change this thinking to "I believe that Fate has meant for me to be happy, love or no love"
This doesn't force one to actively search for happiness or love, but still allows them to enter should they present themselves.
4) Time is the healer of wounds big and small
Though the hurt may seem an insurmountable wall.
But time takes time as time will tell
Don't try to rush it, or it won't heal at all.
I'm here for you, little sister mine
Your pain I feel though its sublime.
Your wound is fresh and needs to heal
I'm here to care, to make you fine.
Here's another man, your hand to woo,
Are you ready? Is your healing through?
Do you yet pine for love that's lost?
Can you give all? Can you be true?
Some men are evil, yet some are good,
They're hunters and you are their food.
Are they here to eat and go?
Or are they staying here for good?
4) Do you need to say anything when you are there with her? =)
1) Communicate, communicate & communicate. With emphasis of the listening part. Learn to listen & show her (not just through words) that she's being paid attention to. Make her feel confident & comfortable around you & soon it will be easy for you to know what makes her happy. As she will let you know herself what makes her happy. Never guess. Try not to anticipate.
2) Wake up.
3) I'll quote Appius Claudius (I love Google), a Roman statesman: "Each man is the architect of his own fate." (and I'm pretty sure that 'man' here is a generic term for 'human being')
4) Take your time to grieve for the loss. Don't rush for the new love. If the other's care is sincere, he'll patiently wait.
1) ...to a guy friend who asks you what a man must do to make the girl he loves happy?
How would I know? Ask the girl.
2) ...to a girl who is in love with someone she does not really trust?
Go with him. But pay private investigators to check on him.
3) ...to a good friend who prefers to leave her life to Fate, and believes she's meant to be lonely and loveless?
Tell your good friend that she hasn't met me. I swear I'll change her mind. No wait. Is she cute?
4) ...to a sister who is hurting from the loss of one love, and confused about the love from another?
If she's confused, she probably has some feelings for him. But the best solution is still for your sister to meet me. I'll solve all her problems, I swear to you.
1. different things make different gals happy, i wouldn't know how to answer this...
2. then she probably really isn't in love with him, more like she's in love with the idea of being with love with a mysterious guy (someone whom she can't really trust)
3. somethings just can't be forced. not saying that she's meant to be lonely n loveless but yah, there are things that u sometimes have to leave to Fate.
4. she needs time to heal from that lose. it just takes time. when she's ready bout this other love, she'll know what to do.
Life is a strange thing, sometimes you try and try and try your hardest, give your all, try to work intelligently but things still happen to mess it all up. . then sometimes, you can't be bothered to try anymore and then it just happens. What can we call this but fate? and Love. . Love is something you just can't try, either it works or it doesn't. You can be the nicest bf/gf, but it just blows in your face. It has to be the combination of the right person at the right point of life,who likes what you are,& at every point you develop, the person develops to complement you,especially because the society we live in is increasingly demanding, nitpicking& selfcentred. Can you not believe it's fate? Or what would you prefer to call it? random possibilities generated by life?
What if it were a fortune teller? who had been rather accurate about the other aspects of her life? I guess fortune tellers aren't always so accurate, esp on the recent newspaper where 7 out of the 8 fortunetellers interviewed gave the wrong answer to the winner of the World Cup. Guess it wasn't the fortunetellers' day. But what if she could see the signs as well, in her personality, behaviour and circumstances? Then what? You get tired. You leave it to "fate".
1) ...to a guy friend who asks you what a man must do to make the girl he loves happy?
Be yourself or she'll end up with an unsustainable illusion.
2) ...to a girl who is in love with someone she does not really trust?
Quit while you're ahead, or it will all end in tears.
3) ...to a good friend who prefers to leave her life to Fate, and believes she's meant to be lonely and loveless?
Someone will show up when you least expect it.
4) ...to a sister who is hurting from the loss of one love, and confused about the love from another?
"Time heals all wounds" (if only this was true) and "only fools rush in"...
1) ...to a guy friend who ask you what a man must do to make the girl he loves happy?
I haven't got a clue, women are so mysterious. I am always just myself - which does not seem to be good enough in this world.
2) ...to a girl who is in love with someone she does not really trust?
Reminds me of the lyrics from the Tea Party song A Certain Slant of Light:
And she's dancing with the hands of fate,
While she's sleeping with the one she hates,
And tonight they celebrate.
Personally, if there is a lack of trust, then I Would not call it love.
3) ...to a good friend who prefers to leave her life to Fate, and believes she's meant to be lonely and loveless?
Meeting people is important, but it is equally important to stick to your standards. It is better to be a lone than in a bad relationship. Take time and get to know the person better.
4) ...to a sister who is hurting from the loss of one love, and confused about the love from another?
Again, be cautious, take time to know the person before getting emotionally involved and thus being blinded by "Love" and unable to see the person for who is truly is.
It is very unlike you not to have advice to offer. Most of it is common sense. However, most people seem to want to believe in magical, mystical ways of finding happiness and love. The truth is that a clear head and planned approach is better (maybe less exciting, but certainly less painful to the heart). Although, a fellow I once knew, told me that life is about dizzying highs and crashing lows. Personally, I prefer a more even tempered approach.
My head is spinning...
1) ...to a guy friend who ask you what a man must do to make the girl he loves happy?
Engage her mentally and always be there for her
2) ...to a girl who is in love with someone she does not really trust?
As long as he is good to you baby, as long as you are happy girl and as long as you know what you're in for.
3) ...to a good friend who prefers to leave her life to Fate, and believes she's meant to be lonely and loveless?
some day your prince will show up sweetie....
and then quietly arrange for a brush meeting/chance encounter with some eligible bachelor.
4) ...to a sister who is hurting from the loss of one love, and confused about the love from another?
A place and time for everything and everything in its time and place. Things will turn out right in the end. Most importantly, you must be happy.
sometimes, some people, just need a listening ear. not always looking for advice or someone to solve their problems.
The advice here all sounds real nice: as if I was reading a Dear Aunt Aggy column held by multiple contributors.
Love is but a cliche. Different people possess different experiences and mentalities. No one solution will rule them all.
Everything is there for a purpose, whatever we have encounter. A girl who is in love with someone she does not really trust? Then she has to learn that trust cannot be granted to every Tom, Dick and Harry.
One can hold their hands for a while, but not forever.
seriously...
If I really want to marry that special someone, I would choose to hold that someone's hand forever.
even if some days the hand is diffcuilt to hold.
often love is a choice, not a feeling. it is never constant, it fluctuates like the stock market. when it is in the dumps, you hold on and know that you will see the rising soon,and then you will fall in love with that person again.
it's 3 people in life that makes the decision. You, you mate and God.
and as somone once told me.
1 cord can be overpowered easily.
2 cords can defend themselves,
but 3 cords won't be easiy be broken.
Cheers
1) ..to a guy friend who ask you what a man must do to make the girl he loves happy?
1. Respect her and her decisions
2. Her right of privacy and mutual trust
3. Her freedom and balance mix among family, friends and in relationship
2) .. to a girl who is in love with someone she does not really trust?
1. If she is in a relationship something must have gone wrong somewhere... Find the root cause before anything goes wrong..
2. Build trust la! Thought that trust is one of the fundamental blocks in a relationship..
3) .. to a good friend who prefers to leave her life to fate, and believes she's meant to be lonely and loveless?
无药可救, if there is no inputs how would she know is this true or not? Or unless she had decided by her own self that she wants to be lonely and loveless..
4) .. to a sister who is hurting from the loss of one love and confused about the love from another?
Take time to settle down / cool off first... ask her think whether is she prepared for another relationship and have already fully given up on the first love..
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