Hmm... A bit high tonight. Got home early tonight after having dinner with a bunch of crazy girls at The Legends @Fort Canning Park. Poured myself some wine, locked myself in my cool cozy room, played my soothing mp3s and went online to play some games.
Love the wine...cos it lulls me to sleep easily, so that keeps me off Valium. The wine sends blood rushing to my face and ears - mmm...feels warm and nice. Hee....
That's probably the only high point in my life today. When one speaks about Highs, there should be Lows too. If you have been following my blog, you will know who James is.
Well, we actually brought our non-existent relationship to a closure. Non-existent because we never really started anything. We began as friends and when he left for Qatar, we remained status quo. None of us felt it appropriate to commit anyway.
Received an email from him on Monday - and he apologized for not writing. He revealed that his career was picking up in Qatar and he's actually planning to extend his term there. So I don't think he will come back at all. I thought he should get himself a gf because I know it can get pretty lonely over there - if he has absolutely no one to love or care for him, especially during times when he's feeling low or homesick.
He said he is still single, but he has been thinking a lot about his ex-girl friend. The same divorcee who was with him for 5 years, left the responsibility of raising her kid to James, and dumped him earlier this year for a richer and more mature guy. The same girl who pestered him every day and night after the break up, whenever her new bf is not in town. James the SNAG, is even thinking of patching up with her.
When I read the email, I could literally feel my eyebrows raising - and feeling totally incredulous about his thought process. My friend told me love is blind, and I couldn't agree more. If he had told me he found someone in Qatar who is making him really happy, I would have been really thrilled. At least I would given him 101% of my blessings!
But the ex? Geez. Whatever is he thinking of? I guess him being a softie, sentimental new age guy doesn't help huh? He holds on so much to his feelings and his obligations to her, that he totally forgets himself. Told him I was really disappointed that he has come to this decision, but wished him all the best anyway.
He's coming back for a short break in Oct - and wants to meet up and talk. I was like - talk about what? I seriously don't think it's necessary, because he does not owe me any explanation. My greatest fear in meeting him is that I will make him feel even more confused - knowing now that he is really someone who cannot think reasonably with his head. His heart totally rules his life, and he lets his emotions get the better of him everytime.
Hence, I told him that my email reply is actually the best opportunity for a clean closure. I should stay away lest my presence will hinder his career and love life. Surprisingly, I thought I would feel extremely hurt - but all I felt that day was total calmness. Which puzzles me. I guess that confirms that I probably didn't like him as much as I think I did. Even the tone of my email to him was utterly professional - as if I am writing a letter of regret to a unsuitable candidate. haha... I wonder how he would react.
And that's the Low for this week. But honestly, we have stopped communicating with each other for such a long time, that I don't even feel anything significant when James broke the news. So I guess it does not even qualify as a Low. So much for Mr Nice Guy. He made me wonder if guys really love being tormented emotionally. Many times I have realised the bitches always get what they want, while nice girls always finish last. Seen it too many times. Cheap thrill huh?
Oh well, life goes on as always. I pray from the bottom of my heart that his ex will wake up and start cherishing this idiotic fool. Otherwise, I think he should just migrate to Qatar and never come bacK. But then again, the women there are all wrapped up from head to toe - so maybe he will REALLY feel deprived. He will probably be stoned to death in public if he ever dare to even steal a glance at the womenfolk. Haha....
All the best James - and live in peace. :P