Sometimes I wish I can just blog whatever's on my mind. You see, whenever I feel strongly about something, I get afflicted with "verbal diarrhoea". If I don't get it out of my system, I feel constipated. And that feeling really sucks - cos you'd feel as if you have a whole lot of shit stuck inside you, which you cannot purge. Extremely toxic for the body to store it inside infinitely.
Then again, there are people to consider. Feelings that I would have to be sensitive of. Personal issues that may be too private to reveal. Because I know whatever I write here will be read by the whole wide world, and that it will significantly affect or impact someone's life.
Hence, I am constantly filled with toxins - loads of shitty stuff that I cannot expel out of my heart and soul. Maybe that's why Yen always say I'm full of shit. :P
Many of my friends say I tell great stories and that one day I should pen it all down into a novel. I always tell them that if I ever write about all the stuff that has happened to me - I probably could churn out a trilogy. Or probably a slew of books like the Parry Hotter series. I kind of like the name Parry Hotter - cos I 've been told that I'm quite hot. Or rather, I would like to think that I am (getting slightly delusional here at this point).
Anyway, here's a story about a guy who checked into Hotel Solace recently. His name is Joe and he used to be a special guest at the Hotel many months ago.
One day he disappeared without a trace. Six months later, he reappeared at the lobby of the Hotel.
One unique thing about Hotel Solace is - guests always come and go, and some like Joe, vanishes without any reason. Most hotels will adopt a policy of turning such escape artists away. But Hotel Solace, being what it is, took him back in as a guest - with all past trangressions forgotten.
He claimed he has resolved his issues, and had came back a stronger person. Nothing could make him falter. But apparently, it was quite premature for him to say that. This time round, the issues got more complicated, and he realised he wasn't as strong as he thought he could be. Once again, Hotel Solace started to catch glimpses of Houdini practising his disappearing act.
The thing is, Hotel Solace could never stop anyone from leaving - nor does it has the right to. But it becomes disturbing when it happens once too often. Joe wanted to puruse a passionate dream and was adamant not to stick around and waste time. Yet he expects Hotel Solace to be opened 24/7 - to always reserve a special room for him whenever he's tired of escaping. Should the Hotel be unwilling to accede to his request of keeping him in mind, Joe would rather he never hear from the Hotel again. "Why bother?", he said.
That's pretty unsettling. He's got no intention to stay as a permanent guest at the moment , but he wants to be treated as one. He wants to be missed. He wants to be in the Hotel's top of mind. He badly wants to be detached from the Hotel, but yet he could not stay away. He enjoyed some of the Hotel's "VIP privileges", but ran away when it got too much for him to handle. "Confused" is the word Joe used to describe himself and how apt that is, I feel.
What can the Hotel do? The best thing to do is to let him go - so that he can pursue his ultimate passion. But he would have to be treated as any other guests that came and left. It's not fair of him to take advantage of the Hotel's VIP privileges, and disappear again simply because he does not want to pay the price of being a VIP, but at the same time, expects to be treated like one. Normal guests are normal guests. VIPs are VIPs. The distinction should be as clear as day.
But I guess many times, lines are blurred and people often cross them without realising it. There could never be absolute black or white, but probably lots of grey.
Maybe that's why, even when Hotel Solace got snubbed by Joe for its lukewarm reception to him, it could not turn him away. It could only hope that Joe knows his stance - and know what his rights are as a Normal guest in the Hotel.
To end the story, Hotel Solace believes that there are still many good Christians around, and that not all women are evil or crap. Maybe what Joe and other habitual escape artists really need is a rehabilitation center to help them get over years of bitter, pent-up emotional issues. Hotel Solace could never be the ideal place for them until they've learnt how to face up to their problems instead of running away.
Thank you for staying with Hotel Solace.
We look forward to seeing you soon.