I'm a simple girl with a li'l dream, of seeing her humble works in exquisite print, to share with all who feels for words, written with
an unsupressable urge. So indugle in my fantasies, and plow your way through my memories, greatly appreciated you will be,
if you can leave your comments here for me.


Tuesday, September 27, 2005

ONE Night Stand

Thought this would be super funny to share.

A couple of years ago, I chatted with this guy on IRC. It soon became apparent that he was looking for a one-night stand and was pretty adamant in getting it. I thought it might be fun to play along and see how far this loser will go to get what he wants.

What you are about to see next is probably the world's Most Desperate Attempt to Land a One- Night Stand (ONS). I should have nominated him for a Guiness World Book of Records or something.

(To protect his identity, I have decided to omit his photo and "mosiac" some of his numbers.)

Here's what he emailed me:

==============

Subject: The one who chatted with u just now

Dear Miss Yukiko,
I was the one who chatted with u just now, attachment is my photographs.
Kindly consider my proposal, be my counterpart for a journey of life if it is okay.
I thank you for your time and taking patient reading the story part of me.
I wish to know your life story too.
My handphone: 01777XXXX
My office phone number: 07-355XXXX
My name : Liew
My previous email:-
luttut@hotmail.com, I think of stop using this email, pls forward to my sending email now.

Anticipating your favorable reply
Friends remain.
Thank you.

==============

At the point of receiving this, I was laughing so hard that I literally fell off my chair. Thought that was really CLASSIC with a Capital "C". But wait. Horrors of horrors - there's more!

==============

Subject: Application to be ONS

Dear,
Good morning,
I thank you for allowing me to send my profile to apply to be your ons.
To make you feel worthy, please give me a try.
May I know what is my position now, the multiple choices are listed below, kindly let me know:-

a. Unacceptable
b. Slim chance but may consider
c. Depend on my mood
d. Chance is there but need more time
e. Can only be email friend but you can share email joke with me
f. Can only be email friend and share whatever interesting email from you (including uncensored pictures)
g. Purely friendship
h. Acceptable
i. Others:- Please specify:__________________________

You may choose more than one choice.
Answer: ___________________

Thank you and best regards.

==============

Now I even got to fill in a multiple choice questionnaire so that he can "apply" to be my ONS? This guy is totally UNBELIEVABLE!

Hahahahahahaha

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

thanks for starting my day with a laugh.

Mel

Bee said...

ya... never short of such guys around... but i m very mean la... i wont entertain them even a single bit.... dont want to waste my time on such guys. =P

starlandliu said...

Lame! Totally lame!
Working don't want working, yet go for wooing relationship and wrote some ridiculous letters.

Adult....still still behaves like a small child...shame on this man!

DA BAI CHI(idiot)!

Jade Falcon Elite said...

Choosing not to hear about such things doesn't mean such things doesn't exist.

It does. And its prevalent everywhere.

However, its a compliment to Hotel Solace. I think give to the guy Lydia Sum, he would run away! Hahaha.....So if he chose Hotel Solace, must be that its a pretty Hotel.

Teck Guan said...

Hahahahaha... No wonder people are reading. Interesting indeed. :D

I have to be honest with you, your article really makes me laugh. Yeah, I have read the earlier part about 'when a girl makes a boy laugh bla bla bla...'.

I don't mean to say you are a clown. I honestly think you have written a wonderfully humourous blog.

God blesses your love escapade.

Good job.