Thought this would be super funny to share.
A couple of years ago, I chatted with this guy on IRC. It soon became apparent that he was looking for a one-night stand and was pretty adamant in getting it. I thought it might be fun to play along and see how far this loser will go to get what he wants.
What you are about to see next is probably the world's Most Desperate Attempt to Land a One- Night Stand (ONS). I should have nominated him for a Guiness World Book of Records or something.
(To protect his identity, I have decided to omit his photo and "mosiac" some of his numbers.)
Here's what he emailed me:
Subject: The one who chatted with u just now
Dear Miss Yukiko,
I was the one who chatted with u just now, attachment is my photographs.
Kindly consider my proposal, be my counterpart for a journey of life if it is okay.
I thank you for your time and taking patient reading the story part of me.
I wish to know your life story too.
My handphone: 01777XXXX
My office phone number: 07-355XXXX
My name : Liew
My previous email:- firstname.lastname@example.org, I think of stop using this email, pls forward to my sending email now.
Anticipating your favorable reply
At the point of receiving this, I was laughing so hard that I literally fell off my chair. Thought that was really CLASSIC with a Capital "C". But wait. Horrors of horrors - there's more!
Subject: Application to be ONS
I thank you for allowing me to send my profile to apply to be your ons.
To make you feel worthy, please give me a try.
May I know what is my position now, the multiple choices are listed below, kindly let me know:-
b. Slim chance but may consider
c. Depend on my mood
d. Chance is there but need more time
e. Can only be email friend but you can share email joke with me
f. Can only be email friend and share whatever interesting email from you (including uncensored pictures)
g. Purely friendship
i. Others:- Please specify:__________________________
You may choose more than one choice.
Thank you and best regards.
Now I even got to fill in a multiple choice questionnaire so that he can "apply" to be my ONS? This guy is totally UNBELIEVABLE!