I'm a simple girl with a li'l dream, of seeing her humble works in exquisite print, to share with all who feels for words, written with
an unsupressable urge. So indugle in my fantasies, and plow your way through my memories, greatly appreciated you will be,
if you can leave your comments here for me.


Wednesday, September 28, 2005

CHAP SAR TIAM

Hope you guys enjoyed the One Night Stand entry. Some of my friends laughed until "hay gu". Should have put a disclaimer somewhere that states whatever side-effects any of you may have suffered as a result of this blog's content, it is absolutely none of my business. Haha.

Since we are on the topic of application forms, I have another one to share with you - hope you have not seen this yet.

=================================

Since the IR has been approved, the underworld is looking for recruits. This one - CHAP SAR TIAM SECRET SOCIETY, a Geylang-based organization for youth, is now recruiting members to fulfill a tender they are submitting to the new casino.

Sorry, sorry, integrated resort.

Please fill in the form below and mail to:
Mr. Chao Ah Beng
Membership Occifer
Chap Sar Tiam Secret Society
69 Geylang Lorong 69
Singapore 696969
Reference code: chapsartiam.com

APPLICATION FOR MEMBERSHIP IN CHAP SAR TIAM SECRET SOCIETY

1. NRIC No.: _________________

2. Surname: __________________

3. First name: (please X)
[ ] Johnson
[ ] Benson
[ ] Samson
[ ] Hamson
[ ] Janson
[ ] Other: _________________ (if not ending in son? please explain why)

4. Chinese Name: Ah __________(if not beginning with Ah? please explain why)

5. Age: [ ] Under 35 [ ] Lau Beng

6. Sex: [ ] M [ ] F [ ] at Geylang

7. Length of Last Fingernail: ________ (cm)

8. Ability to squat for:
[ ] 1 hour
[ ] 2 hours
[ ] more than 2 hours (wah, steady!)

9. Hairstyle:
[ ] Spiky
[ ] Dyed with streaks of blond
[ ] Dyed with streaks of red
[ ] Two strands dangling in front of eyes
[ ] Kana mop like that
[ ] Perm (please state which saloon in JB you went) ________________

10. Tattoo of:
[ ] Tiger
[ ] Dragon
[ ] Snake
[ ] Eagle
[ ] Hello Kitty

11. Work experience: (please X all that apply)
[ ] KTV Launge Bouncer
[ ] Snooker Hall Attendant
[ ] Unlicensed Contractor
[ ] Freelance debt collector
[ ] Unlicensed bookie
[ ] Dispute Resolution and Settlement Professional
[ ] Unemployed

12. Spouse's Name: _________________________
2nd Spouse's Name: _________________________
3rd Spouse's Name: (the one in Batam, that one)_________
Lover's Name: ____________________
2nd Lover's Name: (Lorong 69, that pooi-pooi one)____________________

13. Number of children living in household: ____
Number of children living in foster care: ____
Number of children that are actually yours: ____

14. Mother's Name: _________________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

15. Father's Name: _________________________ (If not sure, leave blank)

16. Education: (Circle how many years it took you to finish primary school)
8 9 10 11 12

17. Ability to swear: (please X all that apply)
[ ] Hokkien
[ ] English
[ ] Malay
[ ] Tamil
[ ] Cantonese
[ ] rude hand gestures

18. Service performed in previous secret society:
[ ] Leadership/Tua Tao
[ ] Junior management/Suay Tao
[ ] Physical activities/Hooting
[ ] Dispute Resolution and settlement/Cham Siong
[ ] Lookout/Kuah Chui

With your application, please also enclose sample of blood (need not be your own).

=================================
Anybody keen to apply? Free lifetime membership. And if I need money, just loan it to me without interest ok? :P

18 comments:

SingaporeStarlandliu said...

Haiz....
Don't know what the heck are you 29 adult thinking of.
For love? for money? for good life?
or whatever?
See la, reena tan, urban people are so modern! only money money money.....
Broken society...
...oh yes, I will added your links to my blog.

Anonymous said...

hmmm...that's two days in a row that you put a smile on me in the morning...

Mel

Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

SingaporeStarlandliu : Finally you remembered me!

SingaporeStarlandliu said...

Remembered????
I added your links only, nothing else...

starlandliu said...

WAH! can you cool down?
This is what happens to me if I bomb a career woman!

She will used all disasters to rock me until I surrender and make my last breath....

So, I better avoid new hurricane reena before she sent a troops of wind and blown me ashore.....

hahahahaha!

Jade Falcon Elite said...

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned.......

SingaporeStarlandliu said...

I know it even it was the day after tommorrow which can freeze everyone out.

Never ever pluck a wild flower at roadside!!!

Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

*rolls my eyes*

The Green Dildo said...

Ah Dan here! *raises hand* lol. :P

SingaporeStarlandliu said...

You can write poet you means that you had one poet talent.

For me ahhh, go ask jade about my character la....

Jade Falcon Elite said...

Ah Starland boy ah?

Your Ang Mo reli cannot make it leh.... Hehehe.... Its not POET. Its POEMS! Wa lau... Secret Society can spell better. Hahahaa...Joke la. Jus wan u to improve. Kekeke...

Leena Dan Ang Mo Berry Good. Mac Com Graduate! Hehehe... Learn from her.

SingaporeStarlandliu said...

Ang Mo your big head!

I topped everyone using chinese and english, know that?

Your english won't surpassed me and don't said about chinese!

Jade Falcon Elite said...

Hmmm... I didn't talk about chinese. I talked about ENGLISH!! ANG MO!! Really? your english that good? Hmmm... i would like to see your results. Besides, Who is talking about surpassing anyone in English? With Elvina's solid english and the fact that she's not even boasting about it, it really doesn't quite show u as humble.

SingaporeStarlandliu said...

.......I were just saying just now that your english had surpassed me and I had type wrongly, ok?

The problem here is: china is growing up and chinese is more important, ok?

And I hoped you will take my joke as a friendly terms, ok?

Pillow said...

My Honda got blue neon light leh, qualify as Ah Beng boh? Hokkien fail one, but my England powderful k.

Jade Falcon Elite said...

All England Powderful ones, All can join Secret Society! All England cannot make it one, can join Bird Society!!!

Welcome to the Elvina's Secret Society!

Angry Liu said...

I had nothing more to said other than pray heaven to bless singapore for celebrating its 100th.

I will live long to see that day.

Freedom Liu said...

So are suggesting starlandliu to join the bird society just simply because his English is too bad??

In this country, which is made up of English and Chinese, both are equally important.

Those people who said chinese lousy, are the ones who don't deserves any rights to flow the blood of chinese and had failed to show respects to their china's ancestors.


I admit that I am poor in English but starlandliu did not give up!
English is not a overnight language.

But the ones who give up chinese, did they tried to learn at their best??

Bird Society is good too.
Birds are always freedom.
Without birds, all food chain will be affected badly.

Birds don't fly straight away when they are borned, they spend so much time, learning to fly for freedom instead of giving up.

"Tragedy are just ports of call on your learning journey. Keep flying: you will get to your destination in good time."