Sex and The City

Have you ever watched Sex and The City? It's a drama series revolving around the lives of 4 women - a lawyer, an art gallery manager, a columnist/writer and a PR consultant. They were beautiful and sexy in their own right, and possess 4 totally different personalities.


Samantha Jones, the self-centered PR consultant, is totally open about her sexuality, and has absolutely no qualms exploiting it to get what she wants. She is super confident and could be a bitch at times, but that also means she's no pushover. She's extremely smart and one of the most hilarious characters of the show, simply because she talks about sex as if it's American breakfast - something you take every day without giving too much thought with the sole purpose of satisfying your hunger.

Carrie Bradshaw is a popular columnist who writes about love, relationships and sex, and usually draws inspiration from her friends and her own dysfunctional relationships. She is your typical lovelorn cosmopolitan woman who worships shoes, bags, clothes and fancy parties. Men drift in and out of her life - bringing her on one roller-coaster ride after another - most spiralling towards an emotional wreck. She is good at her work, but falters when it comes to relationships.


Charlotte York is your goody-two-shoes, spiritual, religious babe who does everything by the book. She is constantly shocked by Samantha's explicit description of her sexacapdes, and would not hesitate to show her disgust. She gets extremely flustered and works herself up into a senseless frenzy whenever things do not go her way. She believes in true love and is constantly pining for her Prince Charming. Her ultimate ambition in life is to get married and have kids. She's your perfect wife and mother.


Miranda Hobbes is the stiff, principled, level-headed lawyer who keeps her passion suppressed, while going about her daily life with the precision of a clockwork mouse. She's the no-nonsense, impatient, career-driven woman who sees everything in either black or white. She sometimes loses her bearings, exposing that rare moment of her vulnerability. She is a perfectionist and is hard on herself and the people around her.



So - which Sex and The City babe are you? Take thist to test to find out! ;P

I am a "Samantha".

Score: 21 points -- You're Samantha -- uninhibited, powerful, and sensual. You pursue sex with unbarred enthusiasm -- and without letting feelings get in the way. Relationships aren't exactly your strong point, but you date more than any of your friends, and you're the one they come to when they need advice in the bedroom.

Take the above analysis with a HUGE pinch of salt.....please.


Why do I like this particular show?

I think it's because the characters in the show are easily identifiable. Most girls fall within one or more of the types as described above. Personally, I am a cross between Samantha, Carrie and Miranda.

One thing I really admire about the girls in the show - is how despite their obvious differences, they could still come together, bonding and bitching regularly over coffee, meals and cocktails. Occasionally, the different personalities may clash, but they eventually understand that the friendship is worth more than a petty quarrel.

There was even an episode where baby-hater Samantha reluctantly agreed to babysit Miranda's baby boy while she goes on a date. That's what friends are for - isn't it? To be there for you through thick and thin, thicker and thinner.

Some time ago, I have a group of girls that I hang out with every Friday night. Uncannily, the four of us seemed to take on the four different personalities of the babes in Sex and The City. Being the more vocal and unbridled female in the group, I am naturally a Samantha - often shocking my "Charlotte" and "Carrie" friends. The level-headed Miranda usually just rolls her eyes at my nonsense.

Not long after, a virus called marriage wiped out two of our girls and reduced the group strength to two. It was only me and "Miranda" left.

We tried injecting a couple of fresh new blood into the group, but somehow it just doesn't feel the same anymore. We have known the other two girls for more than 6 years - and the chemistry between us is as impeccable as the one sizzling on the show. It's almost irreplaceable.

So it came to pass that our Sex and The City weekly gathering became a mixed bag of sorts - from ex-colleagues to present colleagues to MSN friends to MSN friends' friends. Not sure if this is ideal, but apparently, some regulars in the group are not handling the influx of foreign bodies too well. Maybe it's about time I stick to familiar grounds.

Recently, I have an extremely strong urge to retreat into my impenetrable shell. It protects me from the harshness that was brewing around me. No, I am not depressed. Nor do I feel emotional.

If I analysed myself correctly, I think I feel vulnerable.
I may be strong, but I am not invincible.

Many times, when I am alone, I wonder about my friends.

- Are we all accepting, like the women in Sex and The City?
- Do we embrace each other shortcomings, and tolerate one another's flaws?
- Could we ever be there for each other always - no matter what circumstances?
- As much as we disagree with one another, do we put aside our differences and work towards a satisfying compromise?
- Could we openly talk to each other even when we are fully aware that it may not eventually achieve our objective of getting the message across?
- Could we seek to understand, even if we do not concur?
- Have we been hearing but not listening, looking but not really seeing?
- Can we bring ourselves to overlook petty transgressions and forgive unintentional mistakes?
- Are we able to recognise the little imperfections in our friends and love them all the same?
- Do we have the capacity to accept that things may change, but possess the confidence that our friendship would still be as true?
- Have we unknowingly created undue pressure by pre-setting expectations on how a friend should behave?
- Have we stopped sharing our innermost secrets for fear of backlash?
- Could we truly refrain from passing judgement?

Frankly, many of the answers in my mind are swimming in a blurry mess. I used to be able to tell instantly, but of late - I find myself severely and emotionally handicapped. I no longer knew distinctly what was expected of me - as a friend.

Sometimes it feels that nothing I do was ever good enough.
Or worse - everything I do warrants a criticism, accusation or assumption.
Any form of explanation only serves to throw me in an argumentative/defensive light.

I used to proclaim proudly that my friends will stand by me no matter what, because that is exactly how I will be to them.

My loyalty is a simple, straight-forward, no-strings attached concept. VIP status is automatically accorded to those I hold dear as friends. I accept them WHOLESALE - no matter who they are, what they are or who they have or will become. They could be the most undesirable people to walk this planet, but they will be the ones I cherished most - simply because they are my friends.

Such simplistic view apparently - belongs to me, and me only.

And then I realise how alone I was in my concept of "friendship". It is no Sex and The City, as much as I would love to fantasize it to be so.

Humans will always have expectations. They will be appalled, disappointed, sad, worried, uneasy, disillusioned, angry, upset, frustrated, irritated - as long as your behaviour does not measure up to those expectations.

I realised sadly, that I am a victim not by choice, but of circumstance.

And that was when I knew I needed to retreat. To be alone. To seek solace in my shell. To withdraw and think about how best I can protect my idealistic view, but yet at the same time, assimilate myself to the brutal truth of reality.

Last but not least, I need time to assure myself - that despite who I am not, I am still good enough.

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't follow.
I'd be at the bottom to catch them when they fall."