If I had set up a practice listening to people with relationship problems, I would have been a millionaire by now.
I seem to be a magnet for these people. I wonder why? Is it because I have a problem with relationships myself? Or maybe, I exude that aura of being a guru in relationships? But if I am really that "experienced" to warrant a steady stream of heartbroken souls seeking my advice, why do my own relationships fail?
Maybe that's the REAL answer. I keep failing in relationships so that I can garner enough pain and heartaches to help people through theirs.
But somehow I come to realise that more often than not, people come to me not because they really needed help. Very often, most people with relationship problems already know the answer to what they need to do. They just want someone to verbalize it for them. And I so happen to be universally recognized as the VERBALIZER.
Many times I feel helpless. Time and again I see my friends walking towards the edge of a cliff, and before they leap into a hopeless love abyzz, they want to hear what I have to say. I am usually brutally blunt, and painfully honest. After they've heard what I feel they already know, they went ahead and jump anyway.
Why is it when I say that a guy is not good for you, he's an asshole, he's a player, he will hurt you - and all of you know it, but you still allow yourself to sink deeper into it anyway? I really wonder what value add does a verbalizer like myself bring to the table.
I can list down all the strategies and mind games that the men are playing with my girlfriends; I can accurately articulate their fears and their desires; I am able to predict the outcome and forewarn them of the consequences, armed with evidence of all the danger and warning signals. And yet, after all that halabuloo, the victims continue to allow themselves to be tortured endlessly by the love that they seek.
They come to me in pain. I comfort them and offer them good solid advice. I tell them the truth and paint them the reality. They see the light --- and then they dive headlong back into the dark side. WHY?
What do they get out of confiding in me anyway? And where do all my opinions and viewpoints end up in if they do not play a part in influencing their decisions? And why do I keep doing this if the conclusion is always the same?
I really wonder.