I'm a simple girl with a li'l dream, of seeing her humble works in exquisite print, to share with all who feels for words, written with
an unsupressable urge. So indugle in my fantasies, and plow your way through my memories, greatly appreciated you will be,
if you can leave your comments here for me.


Friday, July 08, 2005

The Road Less Travelled...

...is often one that is fraught with obstacles, challenges, dangers and many unforeseen circumstances that may arise when you are on the path. It is also one that is lonely, even in the brightness of the day. It may even be one that takes a much longer time than any other roads.

I feel an urge to liken my life to the road less travelled. My girlfriend joked once that my life is a series of unfortunate events, very much like what Lemony Snickets would love to write about.

I earned my first salary when I was 12. When most of my friends were enjoying the school and public holidays, I would be working the 10-hour shift for my next school fees.

All my close friends got their degrees right after JC/poly. I waited 7 years to start mine because I needed to save for it.

I had my first boyfriend when I was 14, and had countless of relationships after that, none of which were fruitful till this very day. My closest girlfriends had no more than 3 relationships and were now happily married with kids.

I know of girls who married their first loves, just like it happens in fairytales. Peers who never have to worry about making ends meet. Friends who have warm, happy family gatherings many times a year to look forward to.

And through it all, I saw that I was standing on the road less travelled. I am alone. The days are bleak and awfully long, and the nights are damp and cold. I see many huge boulders in the way. Gigantic fallen trees. Rotting logs. Poisonous ivy. Quicksand.

It's been one long, difficult road. And it's not getting any easier.

There are times when I thought I have reached the end of the road, and I dreamt of fields of lavender stretching like a vast ocean before me.

But it was not to be so.

My walk with the Lord has been nothing less than fulfilling, enriching, nurturing, but nevertheless, very very painful. I chose the road less travelled, and with that, I allowed myself to be tested at every turn.

I have to learn that sometimes giving up something I love for the Lord, may rip my heart apart, but it is nothing compared to Him giving up His only Son for me. I must believe that whatever I went through and suffered, was so I could keep relying on Him for His love, to sustain me on the road less travelled. And I must trust - that whatever He took away from me, He will give it back to me tenfold.

And all I have to do is Believe....and Wait. And so Lord, I wait.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...
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isabel said...

Dear,be strong,i feel the same way too.I really have no explanation for y ppl hav a better life and easier 1 than we have.i guess this is just the road we have to take, but arent u jus a tiniest bit proud of wat u have achieved?Out of nothing??and we can b assure that we r stronger and better survivors than others out there& we will achieve greater heights because of how capable we'd have become.As for relationships,i guess we both know the answer,we can see too many problems inherent in 2 ppl being together &we refuse to leave anything to chance so we question&demand the guy solves the prob,which he cant.we cant b those placid,unseeing females who let things go as they will,& being very intellectually superior,we cant be with a nice ordinary guy with a normal intellect though we would like to settle,we find ourselves being un-understood&we'd feel alone in the relationship.n when we'd jus settle with eq,a guy with a high eq is as rare as a dinosaur,but never exist unlike the ancient creature

isabel said...

and really,do u really want to live ur life like those mindless,soulless people around? their minds closed like a small pond.not living,going through the motions of life.of cos they seem happy when they don think further than beyond a 5 yr financial plan,they dun think of emotional,intellectual,spiritual development.so of cos they r satisfied with wat they hav or they nv feel truly happy but nv know y cos they don hav deep introspection.then they r 50,everything depends on chance,whether things stay blandly good or husband goes hav an affair or vice versa.do we wan to b like this? floating duckweed depending on chance?

Kenn said...

You should read up on the book of the same title ' the road less travelled ' don't know if you can still find it. i got mind for 1 dollar at bras basah.

you might as well get the book ' art of happiness by dalai lama ' heard its good too.

i can see that you're christian but then don't mind me quoting buddhism though i'm not a buddhist myself. "life is suffering" you must accept it then you can learn to live life and be happy. my 2 cents worth.