I'm a simple girl with a li'l dream, of seeing her humble works in exquisite print, to share with all who feels for words, written with
an unsupressable urge. So indugle in my fantasies, and plow your way through my memories, greatly appreciated you will be,
if you can leave your comments here for me.


Friday, July 22, 2005

The Sunday That Changed Everything

It's been more than two weeks since my last entry. I couldn't believe it myself, but I was spending time with James almost every day.

It started from the day I've decided to let go of everything and anything to do with this guy. It's too painful to like someone and not have him, so I guess it's better to give it up than hold on to a hopeless relationship, friendship - whatver he may call it.

I deleted his handphone number. I deleted all his emails. I practically removed any possible channels of reaching this guy, because I know if I don't do that, I will keep contacting him. It's like I needed to be totally cut-off - so that I can be rid of this senseless addiction.

Anyway I was really tired. I was the one who always took the initiative to message him or call him. It seemed that he never felt the need to do the same for me. I guess after a while, I get tired for being taken for granted. So I decided to stop myself from losing my dignity completely. No friendship or relationship should ever be a one-way traffic.

Sunday came and went. I surrounded myself with friends and activities and got home around 12am. There were no messages or calls from him the entire day. My heart sank. This is it. It's a good thing I chose to gave up, cos this guy completely has no place for me in his heart.

12.05am. A message came through. It was him. He told me he had been thinking about me. I was caught off guard, cos I always thought he never cared. We talked, and cleared the air. And since then, we met up every day for lunch, even the day before he left for Qatar.

Those dates were memorable and very beautiful. He bared his heart and feelings in those 2 weeks like never before, as if he had been bottling them up since the day we met.

I knew he had to go. I knew he could not give me any promises. I knew he may not come back so soon. But I also know I have a place in his heart. And I guess that's good enough for me - for now.

2 comments:

Jade Falcon Elite said...

I am indeed glad for you. Of course its nice to have someone to love and be loved in return. Love never fails. At least The Lord teaches us that.

How are you young lady? There was a time long ago we spoke. However, I decided against going further than aquaintances because we were both singles and eager to know people, more so, each other. Hehehe.... its ok now. At least I could tell from your Blog, you are happy and enjoying life.

Call me Jade Falcon. Same age as you, my dear. Have been paying attention to your blog from the day I knew you a couple of months back. Knew that you work with the authorities in the Tourism Industry. Knew you from IRC.

Well, you may be curious about me. If so, here is some hints.

http://jadefalconelite68.blogspot.com

I do wish you the best.
I will still be watching from a far. Cheers on your James. hehehe....

Bee said...

"I knew he had to go. I knew he could not give me any promises. I knew he may not come back so soon. But I also know I have a place in his heart. And I guess that's good enough for me - for now."

I guess the main question you need to ask is, does he truly love you?

I feel that physical distance is no barrier to true love. You both can always communicate and keep in touch in many other ways daily till the day both can be together in person. True love can wait.

But if he doesn't love you, then his physical presence makes no difference too.

... just my opinon