26 July 2004, Monday. This insignificant date marks one of the most significant turning points of my life.
After spending 8 long, fruitful, challenging, exhilarating years in MTV Asia, I've decided to end my illustrious career on this date. Looking back, I drew a ragged breath and marvelled at how far I've come. From producing my very first show on MTV, to interviewing celebrities like Jeff Chang, Vivian Chow, 5566, to launching various MTV branded consumer products all over the world...and i think to myself - this is it.
I literally grew up with the company. It was my life, my inspiration and whatever I stand for. As I looked around and saw the stuff I've created, the people I've met, the ideas I've developed - I felt a sense of loss gripping me. Intense loss. I am leaving all these behind - all the stuff that made me - ME.
But the Lord calls unto me - and shewed me a new path. He said I needed to go for He's prepared a life for me outside of MTV. Letting go of whatever you have now does not mean losing everything, He said. It only means - that you are giving me back all that I have given unto you. The Lord went on to explain, "Now I want to give you something more - and you need to go get it. And when you have done all that you can with it, I shall take it back from you again - and give you something better."
Ain't that wonderful? The Lord makes letting go - an almost heavenly task. No pain - but tons of gain. He took away the baggages of burdens, regrets and misgivings, and in their place, He put packets of joy, thankfulness and anticipation to prepare me for the road ahead.
Hence, when you leave something behind, you don't have to feel sad. Let it remain a legacy, a memory, and a personal piece of work that is perfected in the Lord - and to whom it shall be returned to.
At the end of the day, all I need or want - the Lord will provide. For everything belongs to Him, and comes from Him. Thus I came with nothing. I own nothing. And I leave with nothing. From whence it came, thence it shall return.
I may be poor - but I've been so richly endowned with blessings overflowing that I have no idea what to do with the excess. And above all, I rejoice in my loss, and revel in my poverty.