Choices

Life has never been a straight line. In a lifetime, one comes across crossroads, potholes, u-turns, uneven grounds, and sometimes, you will even come to the end of the road where there's no other way out.

I have been plagued with such feelings lately. My life revolves around choices big and small. Easy ones. Mind boggling ones. Difficult ones. Painful ones. Spiritual ones.

At the point when I am penning this blog, my life came to a crossroad. Four paths going in four different directions. Right in front of me there was this brand new road. It was smooth, brightly lit, and a solid white door at the end which opens up a whole new world of opportunities, and probably uncertainties. Who knows what lies beyond that beautiful door?
My new job maybe?

Behind me was a war-torn battlefield. It's fraught with obstacles and littered with bloodied war memoirs. The road stretched on for miles, a reeking stench hanging in the air. What used to be glorious, mighty, formidable and highly respected have been reduced to nothing more than ashen rubble. This is where my struggles have taken root right now. My job of 8 years.

To my right, a vast empty space spreads over the horizon. There wasn't a soul in sight. Just acres and acres of white sand. A bed in the middle of it all signifies the resting place for my tired soul. It feels lonely, and gets a wee chilly at night. Peaceful indeed, yet empty. I lay there often, with my eyes looking up to those stars winking with limitless optimism, and I ponder over my single status right now.

On the left, I see beds and beds of champagne lilies - its beautiful petals basking in the warm hue of the evening sun. Love's scent filled the air, embracing me in its subtle passion. It rained kisses on my fatigued soul, and nudged me gently to indulge in this lovely haven. I hesitated - because nothing's permanent. In the end, it may just be another short-lived mirage.

Choices. I have no way to avoid them, and yet I cannot make them. I feel like I'm in a mudslide sinking deeper by the day.