I'm a simple girl with a li'l dream, of seeing her humble works in exquisite print, to share with all who feels for words, written with
an unsupressable urge. So indugle in my fantasies, and plow your way through my memories, greatly appreciated you will be,
if you can leave your comments here for me.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Romancin' Romeo

Some male friends I know complain about the unsurmountable challenge of being a romantic partner all the time. It's a concept they could not grasp. What does being romantic entails? What does one have to do to qualify as a romantic? Barbara Taylor Bradford seems to have the answer for you guys.

The following are some simple suggestions that will help you impress your lady without having to go too far out of your way to do so. Prepare to dazzle her.

1. Make a list
Make a list of the special days on the calendar that you celebrate together, such as the day you met, your yearly anniversary, or even the anniversary of your first kiss. On these days make a point to spend some quality time together. Cook a special meal (or pick one up on the way home from work). Buy her a card or write her a short letter, and let her know that you didn't forget.

2. Toast to her
Toast each other when you sit down to dinner. It doesn't need to be over bubbly or wine, but even a glass of water or iced tea. Tell her something you love about her and then drink to it!

3. Reach out and touch her
Use the power of touch to make a lasting impression throughout the day. There is no such thing as not having time for a kiss goodbye in the morning or again upon reuniting at the end of the day. And an inviting warm hug or backrub at the end of a stressful day is always appreciated.

4. Create a photo album
Take pictures often; don't save the camera for holidays and special occasions. Create a visual scrapbook of your everyday life together. Better still, set the timer and pose together. You will both appreciate the warmth of the moment when you see these snapshots in an album down the road.

5. Take note of significant things
Set something aside for her every day. It might be a newspaper article you read during your commute, a link to a website you came across, or even a story you heard by the office water cooler. She will appreciate that you took a moment to think of her during the course of your day.

6. Be thoughtful
Do something thoughtful for her every day. Whether it's making her a cup of coffee in the morning, sticking a surprise note in her bag, or leaving her a chocolate "kiss" on her pillow before bedtime, everyone loves a romantic surprise.

7. Keep up your appearance
Let her see you at your best. It's ironic that we dress up to meet total strangers but let ourselves go around our nearest and dearest. Most women love to see their men clean-shaven, in great clothes and perhaps wearing a hint of her favorite cologne.

8. Tell her about your moods
Be honest if you are feeling stressed or under the weather. Your woman will appreciate your honesty and will know not to take it personally when you come home in a bad mood.

9. Discuss your day
Sit down together when you get home and relate your daily experiences. The best thing about spending time apart is that it makes you appreciate each other more.
Personally, I like 3, 6 and 8. What's inside a man truly will impress me more than what they have projected or exhibited on the exterior.

Any other simple romantic tips? Contribute to this list if you can. It's about time we all learn something about romanticism. :)

To love for the sake of being loved is human,
but to love for the sake of loving is angelic.
- Alphonse de Lemartine


luvphobia said...

Always have at least a decent meal together every week.

Hand-made gifts are really sweet.

Respect her space.

Do something out of the ordinary once in a while. Sometimes, it's good to drop that ego and pride and do something that she thinks it's so not you. At least, you know she's worthed the effort.

Bored Dad said...

Hmm... Not sure about other guys, but I think the entire list should be the normal and natural things for guy to do, especially so if the woman he fell in love with is really special and important to him.

At least, I know I will do all these, and more whenever my mind can come out with something else, crazy or out of the norm.

With regards to respecting her space, I guess this should go both ways.

Surfie77 said...

hmm how about doing a post on the 10 boos boos (greatest turnoffs) not to do when romancing a woman?

luvphobia said...

I seriously 10 isn't enough for turnoffs. Haha! We, Men just fault too much!

LGSF said...

Hmmm how to be romantic?

Hehe, I personally doubt its something that can be learnt in any short time.

To me, I guess the most important aspect of a romantic experience, or the art of creating one, would be the element of surprise. You need to either plan very carefully to make it a surprise, or simply throw the book out the window and go with spontaneity.

He who is attentive and with a listening ear, tends to be better equipped to create such experiences successfully, instead of having them fall flat at the crucial point. Don't do it unless you're absolutely sure she'll be happily stunned by it, or it could all be for nothing.

On the day of my birth, my wish was for flowers,
I came home that day, to see a rose-petal shower.
On the day of Valentine, my wish was for sweets,
I came home that day, to see chocolates and treats.
On the day of our anniversary, my wish was for love,
I came home that day, he gave it plenty of ferv.
On the day of no import, my wish-list was empty,
I came home that day, a loving hug just for me.

The things I wish for, secret some I keep,
But he always finds out, and I love him heaps.
The things I wish for, some I myself know not,
But he always knows my innermost thoughts.
The things I wish for, I don't always say,
But he reads my mind, and that makes my day.

Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

LuvPhobia: I agree with the "Respect her space" suggestion. I don't think many men can do that though...

Bored Dad: Maybe that's why I find it hard to be in a relationship. I need my space, but I don't trust men enough to give them theirs.

Surfie: GOod idea! I will park this topic into my Blog Bank. :)

LGSF: Fabulous poem! Does such man really exist???????? Sigh........

ismylifeafarce said...

Cook for her. Doesn't have to be a fancy, schmoozy meal of course, but something simple... heck..even an egg sandwich will do.

Actually, anything and everything can be romantic. As long as it's sincere and done with the sole purpose of putting a smile on your loved one's face and warmth in his/her heart...

Jade Falcon Elite said...

When such a true man comes along, will one treasure it? With what can you guarantee that you will really treasure when a truly great guy comes along?

A great guy does not necessarily come in the form of Brad Pitt or Takeshi Kaneshiro. The truth is when someone wonderful comes along, somehow difficult problems arise. Those pointers you raised are worthy of note and consideration. However, I am perturbed by the thought that Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough.

What must a guy do, to win the love of his life? What must he go through to be united in love and possibly matrimony? The Fiery mountains? The Dark Valleys? The Scorching Desert? The Gruesome Swamps? To the hardest of heart, it will still be difficult to impress the girl.

Your pointers are truly interesting and helpful. Still, it would depend greatly on how the girl will respond. If the gal is not like any other gals, then I think I (or any men) will have a tough life.

Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

Carlarina: What a beautiful name you have there! Thanks for dropping by my blog, and do continue to stay one. Would love to hear from you. I am in desperate need of babes in my blog haha..

Jade: "What must a guy do, to win the love of his life?"

--> The answer is "Patience".

Jade Falcon Elite said...


I have watched a movie recently. Titled,"Perhaps Love". The lead actor Takeshi Kaneshiro loved a gal for 10 years. It didn't turn out the usual movie way. The girl ended up not wanting both guys in the show. 10 yrs of loving that girl. Hmmm.... patience doesn't always pay off. Its not a guaranteed method of winning.

Any other tips? Kekeke....

Richard said...

1. Make a list
Hmmm … Sofia used to do stuff like that. Drove me crazy because I never knew what anniversary we were celebrating - what special moment I forgot. Eventually we settled on the day we started dating (and now wedding anniversary). But it bugs me that she did not and does not remember where we went for our first wedding anniversary :-(

2. Toast to her
I don’t think I’ve ever toasted anyone. I prefer to let people know they are special and appreciated without waiting for some “contrived” occaiaion like a toast.

3. Reach out and touch her
Touch is very important to me.

4. Create a photo album
I take pictures when there is film in the camera. I cannot say I am consistant, but I try to take a lot of pictures.

5. Take note of significant things
Ha ha! When I do that, she asks me if I have nothing better to do than surf the net looking for odd bits of information instead of working..

6. Be thoughtful
Doesn’t a hug and a kiss count?.

7. Keep up your appearance
Ah well … I am casual to the 9’s. I don’t dress up for anyone (except job interviews and weddings). External appearance is of little importance to me – it is what is inside that counts. Cleanliness is important, but external accoutrement is not (and definitely not perfume of cologne – I find most of them extremely irritating. I prefer a soft understated smell to a strong pickle your socks type of smell. Basically, just smell clean).

8. Tell her about your moods
I’m fine ;-)

9. Discuss your day
I try ... but my day really isn't that interesting.

I like carlarina's suggestion of cooking. Of course, for me cooking is not big deal.

ismylifeafarce said...

Hi Elvina... You're very welcome :)

I've been reading your blog for a while now, although that was the 1st comment I'd left. Came across your blog through Tan Kok Seng's (still mourning that loss :o( )

Thanks for stopping by too! And I'm not a babe lah.. *blush blush*

ethan said...

Thru communication and appreciation of a person need for personal time is the first step towards "Respect space" and indication of a person maturity on his understanding of a relationship independancy and depandency.

If a lady really likes a guy, a list is not necessary. The guy will do the list cos he reallys like make her feel special.

Then, if a gal likes a guy for the list of things he does, then is she really liking him for what he does or what he is?

I believe a true relationship is liking a person for what he is and how he fill a part in yr life.

Mickell said...

I think an effeminate sensitive new age guy would have no problems meeting those criteria u listed ;p

LGSF said...

"LGSF: Fabulous poem! Does such man really exist???????? Sigh........"

Do such men exist? Well, perhaps not exactly as what I wrote hehe, but I'm sure there are some who do come close.

Then again, there are girls who prefer guys who are a bit more hmmm, how should I put it, nonchalant? Some of my girlfriends actually find guys who are emotional, sensitive and doting a li'l too much to stomach.

No two peas in a pod are ever alike, so take your pod and find your pea. Don't be too picky either, cos someone else could have beat you to it, but also, don't settle for anything less than what you are able to stomach :)

LGSF said...

"Michael Chua: I think an effeminate sensitive new age guy would have no problems meeting those criteria u listed ;p"

I guess that's why there are some people who say:

All the good men are gone. They're either married, or gay...


Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

Aiya...so depressing to hear that! But I do agree that nonchalant guys do have their appeal - cos they seem detached and impossible to figure out. However, over a long period, women being women - will want their guy to shower affection on them. No matter what.

I would rather die of too much love than the lack of it.

I also agree that emotional guys can be quite scary. For "guy-inside, woman-outside" femme like me, it can be quite a burden too.

So what I am trying to say is - always good to have a balance. Good mix of great love and sensible objectivity.

Bee said...

Hi Elvina, sorry for not commenting at your blog for a while, though I did read your posts. I was quite tired lately due to my toothache problem as you know by now.

Well, as women it's true we like to be 'pampered' by romantic guys. But I have learnt that romance won't last. No guy can remain romantic for long. Perhaps it only lasts for as long as you did not fall in love for him. Once you do, the romance will disappear. It's sad, but fact of life. Romance is often the result of infactuation rather than true love.

I guess I am shutting my heart off to romance. Thanks, but no thanks.

Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

Bee: I know how you feel. I have shut it out for the last five years. But you know deep inside you can love someone - you just could not find anyone who could reciprocate it fully and truly.

The greatest gift from Lord is Love. I am sure you know why.

Luffy said...

There's always this thing called "chemistry". You may want guys to romance you this and that way, obviously the one being go after is enjoying the whole "process". Yesterday saw this program on chan 8, is it fortunate to be loved?
Some people are just selfish in the sense that they like the feeling of being "go after" but unwilling to tell the other party that they did not have any chemistry or like the suitors from the start. Many will still go for the one they like but when rejected, they start going bonkers.

"patience doesn't always pay off. Its not a guaranteed method of winning."-JF
Love is never a game.

What i'm trying to say is be realistic, if someone really likes you for who you are, you don't have to put in so much effort to get his or her attention. Your little effort of showering your care and concern will be sufficient.

Jade Falcon Elite said...

"Your little effort of showering your care and concern will be sufficient."

Its not enough. A girl who really needs love, will need more than that. Any good friend can shower care and concern. A stead or boyfriend has a much stronger effect on the lady. I believe most ladies would wanna be as they all said it,"pampered" and treated extremely important. Time, effort, thoughtfulness, kindness, patience and etc etc.... all these are important in the pursuit of a lady we so choose, or at least I choose.

I love giving the one I choose, the love, care and concern as well as all of which I have listed. I do agree with you that Love is not a Game. When I mentioned winning, it is about winning the hand of the lady I love.

juz_A_ga| said...

Yep. When in love, everything he/she does for the other suddenly becomes sweet.

But here's a tip for guys: don't make girls feel like they're like all your other girl friends. Make the girl special by showing her that there're some exceptions you'll make/do for her and not his other friends.

I don't think I've had the privilege of knowing any guy who'd give flowers, let alone anything else. Then again, flowers are expensive. My friends and I are all relatively poor so alot of sweet stuff can't be done without $.

Anonymous said...

i think consistency is important, regardless what he does. e.g. sms @ least once a day, be it in the morning or before bed - takes minimal effort but achieves many effects (assurance that u're on his mind, thoughtfulness, etc), yet inexpensive. i've seen this work for a friend and he's happily married with his wife expecting their 2nd baby. of cos' this is over and above meeting up with the beloved and etc. ~ angel

Aristocrat said...

Well, I think I'll be the devil's advocate again. I don't think patience pays my dear elvina.

Perhaps in some relationships it does, but still in some it does not. So I don't think of it as paying, more likely how much would you be willing to sacrifice to wait for the love of your life, even if tis in vain? Days? Months? Years?

You decide.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say i enjoy reading your blog and thanks for sharing your life with us.

God bless

Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

Luffy: In reality, many people may INITIALLY like you for who you are...but ultimately will leave you for the same reasons that made you what you are. It's ironic, but relationships are THAT fragile and fickle.

Jade: I agree with you that it's much more than just care and concern. There should be some form of differentiation for the one you really love. Things I probably wouldn't do for a friend, I'm most likely to sacrifice for a loved one. Can be anything from time, money, pride, personal likes etc.

just_a_gal: There are a lot of sweet stuff that can be done without $. hmm..maybe just for you, I shall blog in my next blog - "How to be a CHEAP Romantic" haha..

Angel: Oh I love stories like these. I imagine myself to be still lovey dovey with my hubby even when I am old, wrinkled, menopaused and 85 years old. :P

Aristocrat: I do agree it's a personal choice. The length of time I may be willing to wait, willl depend on how deeply i feel for a person. Waited for my ex for 2 years, only to have him dumped me towards the end. After which, I was heartbroken and locked myself in solitude for 5 years. Stupid? Definitely. RegretS? None.

Siew: That's really sweet of you. Do come back to read some more and Welcome to Hotel Solace. :)

rainbow7j said...

>just_a_gal: There are a lot of >sweet stuff that can be done >without $. hmm..maybe just for >you, I shall blog in my next >blog - "How to be a CHEAP >Romantic" haha..

I can help to contribute to that:
- home cook food with nice ambience setting
- self made chocolate, not really that hard anyway
- self baked cake or cookies, simple recipes will do
- leaving small notes, some encouraging words, anything as it is something from your heart, will suffice.
- help to clean up the house XD (reason why domestic helper so popular in Sg hehe)

=_= sorry I know only food as my Ex and moi hobby are cooking/baking.

Well I used to buy flowers from the fresh market back in Germany, where it is very pretty and cheap too. Turlip was her favourite.

Excuse moi for my silly words....

Beach-yi said...

Well, all the nice tips about romanticism are fine, but I will always remember this: being romantic does not always get you the lady and there's a fine line between being touched (gan dong) and being irritated (fan gan).

If the lady likes you, she likes you, if she doesn't then no matter how romantic you are, you can never get her. Put another way is that the same romantic act (e.g. giving flowers) under the same settings but by different suitors yields different results.

Prince Romp said...

must i agree with beach-yi?
definitely...but tht is before u get her.
u're in great trouble if u gonna touch her before u get her heart.
but after tht...there's no limit to adventure.
hats off to Reena.

MaKan GuRu said...

personally, isay the most romantic thing is not planning so much, and just doing little things impulsively and from the heart. That way, the person knows it is sincear.

senbai said...

To love for the sake of making love is productive :)