Introducing the Contemporary Dictionary of The Vulgar Tongue - a collective of obscene and rude expletives - heard and use in today's highly corrupted society.
Artwork by Philip
Inspired by the Classical Dictionary of The Vulgar Tongue (see pic below), this glossary is updated with the newest and latest profanities, expounded by the generations of this era.
Click HERE to download the online text version.
Painstakingly compiled by first-time IgNobel Prize Winner - obscure writer Elvina de Culprit, this tongue-in-cheek dictionary brings a whole new meaning to the definitions of déclassé words. Written in a politically-correct style, the Contemporary Dictionary of The Vulgar Tongue promises to be an intriguing companion whenever you are in need of crude and plebian language.
Here's a sneak preview of what you'll see in this amazing book:
Ass·holes: n. vulgar slang
They are full of shit. They live a shitty life and get sat on every day. They often get screwed and they stink. Big time.
She revels in a dog-eat-dog world. She is notorious for cavorting with all the male dogs and barking up the wrong trees. And yes, she also loves to bite the hand that feeds her.
Dick·head: n. vulgar slang
Seriously true to his namesake - a walking humanoid with a male anatomy in place of a head. Used for purging of waste matter and as a sex tool. No other merits found to date.
They come in two versions: Complete and Total. There's hardly any noticeable difference between the two. Suffer from severe IQ Deficiency Syndrom. No upgrades available.
Horrendously clueless and thinks he's Casonava reincarnate. Easily identifiable as he usually bores a bright, blinking "L" on his forehead. Super effective appetite suppressant.
A typical pain-in-the-arse. Synonymous to causing sharp mental and physical pain. Anything or anyone named after a penis could only mean one thing: They should be circumcised (i.e. sexually mutilated)
Scum·bags: n. slang
Carriers of disgusting filth and trash. Seen as the lowest life in the organic food chain. Packed with lies, corruption and despicable acts. Lifetime guarantee.
These and more - in the all-new first edition of the Contemporary Dictionary of The Vulgar Tongue. Get your copy today at special price of S$39.99 - exclusively for blog readers only!
Call 1900-I-Am-Vulgar or click on the book cover below and place your order now! Whilst stocks last.
"No crime is vulgar, but all vulgarity is crime." ~ Oscar Wilde