I'm a simple girl with a li'l dream, of seeing her humble works in exquisite print, to share with all who feels for words, written with
an unsupressable urge. So indugle in my fantasies, and plow your way through my memories, greatly appreciated you will be,
if you can leave your comments here for me.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Musings on Love - by Neil Gaiman

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you.

They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I hate love.” – Neil Gaiman

That's Neil Gaiman for you. I personally don't think he hates love. He probably hates all the hurt, pain, discomfort, agony and vulnerability that come packaged with LOVE - without a life-time love/time/money-back guarantee. In economic terms, LOVE would most possibly be a significant high-liability investment with zero returns.

Gaiman probably knows more about love than anyone else - to be able to describe it so perfectly and aptly.

After reading that passage, I realised I "hate" love too. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot help falling in it. It is what makes us - complete. I'm sure everyone needs it just as much, no matter how much they claim to 'hate' it. To say you don't need love, is as good as saying you can survive without air. I've read somewhere that men are created with an innate need to be with someone. And that's why we are constantly searching for that person - instinctively, subconsciously, unknowingly, unwittingly - throughout our lives.

Someone once said,"To love someone is nothing; to be loved by someone is something; but to be loved by the one you love - is everything."

What do you think?

Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.- William Blake


Kwai Lan Kia said...

Miss Elvina,

Don sad lar.

You see you advertise all your friends, all got guys go after liao, then left you one person down there so cham, no one advertise you.


Who would like to go after Elvina?



Don delete my comment lar. Please?! Give yourself and all of us a chance!!!

Hee hee hee!

suspiciousbastard said...

Me? Searching for someone? Bwahahahaha!


juz_A_ga| said...

Wow. I really enjoyed that passage by Neil Gaiman. Thanks for the sharing!

Yeah. Those who have fallen before would "hate" love too.

mel said...

hi there

Glad to see you got the neil gaiman site. Did u read bout how he was given 17 jars of kaya when he was here last year? damn funnee
Let me know if u haven't read it. i got the link.


Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

KLK: You siao siboh hahaha.. I don need to advertise la! I already way in advanced choped my Valentine's Date liao!

Suspicious Bastard: You sound really suspicious......

Juz_a_gal: Glad you like it too. I have that same "wow" feeling as you when I first came across this...

Mel: Hahaha....I din know he was a kaya freak! Well, hope he comes to Singapore again. Would love to meet him in person.

mel said...

nah, he's not a Kaya freak...think it was his first time seeing it.

NJS said...

Quote:"so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart."

Is there a better way to put it?
"You are a good person, you can be my big brother..."


Runaway said...

Still think that love is the chemical reactions in one's body and mind to get him/her ready for procreation and nothing else. There is really no other practical explanations. If you say it is spiritual, religious, moral etc. sorry I don't agree.

suspiciousbastard said...

Runaway: Because of that comment, you're linked.

Anonymous said...

hi elvina, have you read Neil Gaiman's CORALINE? it's also a wonderful read. CORALINE is about everyone having a double.

oh, happy chinese new year! =) ~angel

Aristocrat said...

Ma cherie, I do believe you miss out the second part of Blake's poem, which is important as a whole. Without it, something really seems missing. Blake may be questioning s love really all that good? Is it really wholesome? One judges where one can..

Here it goes:

Love seeketh only Self to please
To bind another to its delight
Joy's in another loss of ease
And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite

Having said that, here is another poem...

Woman is created from a rib of a man
Not from his head, to be above him
Nor from his feet, to be walked upon
But from his chest, to be hugged
Near his arm, to be protected
And close to his heart, to be loved.

Until then...

Kwai Lan Kia said...

To the angel on top:

Lim peh like Coraline a lot. The "other" mother and the "other" father super scary hor?

To Aristocrat:

William Blake super cheem la. I only like "London":

I wander through each chartered street,
Near where the chartered Thames does flow,
And mark in every face I meet
Marks of weakness, marks of woe.

In every cry of every Man,
In every Infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in every ban,
The mind-forged manacles I hear:

How the Chimney-sweeper's cry
Every blackening Church appalls,
And the hapless Soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down Palace walls.

But most through midnight streets I hear
How the youthful Harlot's curse
Blasts the new-born Infant's tear,
And blights with plagues the Marriage hearse.”

The last paragraph lim peh like the best.


Raidho said...

True love is two people putting their souls in each others hands. You love each other so implicitly that such a token is the only thing you can give. When it works it is perfect, when it doesn't it feels like you have been destroyed completely.

TriplePeriod said...

Neil Gahmen... nice... for a moment, I thought you were the one writing it. I think he describes it perfectly, but I feel its just one aspect of love that he is writing about. Probably with regard to love in a highly insecure relationship. The kind where things don't go 100% your way, where you love the other party so much that you "want" to believe his/her words although you actually have doubts. And the ending is almost always "The End". Been there, ate there. =p

Prince Romp said...

Some says love is blind..
some says marriage is the eye opener...
Actually love is beautiful and really suck when it failed.
but the point here...are you in love again my dear fren? hee
( no chance now )

I missed ur most happening birthday's party in town...but
Happy belated birthay to you!

I dot want to miss another one..
So i like to wish you...
Gong Xi Fa Cai...Wan shi Ru Yi.

Homer said...

This entry is really goot ... beautiful pieces ... can identify with it somewhat : )

Happy Chinese New Year babe ... may ur date this Valentine's Day be a smashing one ... cheers

Anonymous said...

Hi elvina

I do like your blog alot as a lot of the contents
touches my raw ends. some of your experiences are
similar to mine especially the earlier angst in
growing up but you have it tougher with the absence of
your dad. My dad is still around as in 'physically'
around but he has been sorta absent emotionally from
my life for as long as i can remember.

I have subscribed to your blog and would like to link
your blog to mine, but i wonder how do i do it? just a
ditz in the technical part. By the way, i love writing
too , no surprises for those who have a blog anyway.
Just to let ya know that i love the last piece on Neil
Gaiman. You have introduced a new fan in me in the


all the best and happy chinese new year!


狂人 said...

Elvina 問:“What do you think”?




Shewin said...

Happy Chinese new year Reena,

Be Blessed in all areas of Life,
Work, Friends, Family and Love

May your this year be a more fruitful year than the last.

Less health related problems, Less Money shortage issues,
And obviously Less Love related Struggles.

Hope to hear that you made it to the checkout counter soon...rather than be left on the shelf or riding around in someone's shopping cart. *hee hee*

All in All, Happy new year, Gong xi Fa Cai, step step high rise, year year got fish....

Your Fan always

mel said...

Happy New Year! Gong Xi Fa Cai and good luck in all yr MJ sessions!

How bout trying that 'pass 3 tiles to yr left' version I told you about? Hah!


Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

Angel: Hey thanks for the recommendation. I will go check it out. :P

Aristocrat: haha. yes i am well aware of the second stanza of the poem. Love is indeed ironic isn't it? That second poem is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

Kwai Lan Kia: Wow. Couldn't tell you can appreciate poetry leh hahaha. You shock me with what you know. I am impressed. Thanks for sharing "London" - I am always hungry for great works like these.

Raidho/ TriplePeriod/ Shewin: Thanks for your comments. It's always interesting to note what others think of the same issue.

Prince Romp/ Homer: Thank you! Happy New Year to you too!

Gin: Thank you so much for being here. Let me know if you need help? Maybe You can email me your blog address so that I can check it out too?

狂人李白: So honoured to have the great Tang Dynasty poet in the house. Ignore my musings. They don't all necessary reflect my feelings at that point in time. :)
Happy New Year!

Mel: I think I prefer to stick to the original. :P

Richard said...

Stil writing about love?

Do you really hate love? Or do you hate illusory love?

I suspect it is the latter. Distinguishing illusion from reality can be difficult - especially when the illusion is so compelling.

As humans, we have a strong tendency to throw caution to the wind when we are up. Then, when we are down, we become cautious and build walls and embarkments to protect ourselves - making it akmost impossible for anyone to breach them - but sometimes someone does and we assume it is destiny and once again throw caution to the wind.

I guess it is sort of like the story of Rapunzel. We lock ourselves in a remote tower with no doors and no stairs - effectively shutting people out.

The days go by and we get lonely. One day, someone hears our song and we think it must have been Fate who sent them our way - oblivious to those whom we had shut out of our lives.

Note: if none of this makes sense, it is because it is 01:00 here and I am definitely not a night owl.

Happy New Year of the Dog to you!

Aristocrat said...

KLK: Thanks for sharing Blake's poem. Intriguing on how he has such a pessimistic view of London, life and love per se given that he is a Romantic poet. I like the phrase "Marriage Hearse" too haha!

Richard: I'm pretty sure someone locked Rapunzel up in the tower lol...

Elvina: A Happy Chinese New Year to you, and may your year be fulfilling ahead!

And to all here, Happy CNY!

Richard said...

Aristocat: yes, I know someone locked up Rapunzel, that is why I used the qualifier sort of like.

I think we lock ourselves into our own towers and make ourselves unattainable and unapproachable.

I often am accused of mixing analogies and drawing links were most do not see them.

christophersim said...

Great post. Kinda summarize my feeling now. If only we can do without love. But then, a life without love is simply not worth living for. Cheers.

TOC said...

I do hate love,
coz it sucks to be a broccoli all the time.


Roz: Why can't more men be like you? I mean, you are exactly what women are looking for.
Frasier: Yeah. Women I date don't seem to know that.
Roz: Some women don't know what's good for them.
Frasier: Terrific. I'm the broccoli of dating.

From Frasier9 (The Guilt Trippers)

senbai said...

sigh...the porcupine's dillema