Tolerance

Image by ~benchsketch

Many people have told me that I have a pretty high tolerance level. I guess when you have lived and interacted with unreasonable people for over 30 years, you will probably develop tolerance as a force of habit. To illustrate this: Assuming a normal human being is typically tolerant 50% of their time, my tolerance level will at least be at 200%. At least.

Some people do not know their limits. They will keep pushing all the buttons just to set me off. I am someone who can be pretty calm and collected, even under the onslaught of extreme pressure. But there will come a time where I will retaliate - and when that time comes, I shall show the antagonists no mercy.

I am like a rubber band. You stretch me a little, I tend to propel very far. You stretch me too much, I will snap. I will snap back so hard that you will feel a stinging slap to your face. I may even draw blood, if I snap back hard enough. Which I will, especially when provoked.

You wouldn't want to see that.

Everyone has his/her boiling point. Mine's probably a tad higher than the normal Jane and John Does, which is why it usually takes a hell lot to break me. If I am in a forgiving and reflective state of mind , I may allow myself to sink into self-pity and depression. I will probably even beat myself up for allowing people to step all over me, treating me like shit.

But should I be in an unforgiving mood, I will withdraw and shield my heart with a humongous block of ice. I wouldn't let you see my pain or my seething anger. All you will get from me is my utter disdain. When that happens, you will finally realise what it means to be disregarded by yours truly. I will flick you off my shoulder as if you are an irritating, contemptuous pest. I will have you know that you are not even worth a milisecond of my precious time.

I am not trying to be petty, malicious nor vindictive. I just want to make a point that if you keep chipping at the same rock, it will wear thin over time and eventually, there will be absolutely nothing left. Works the same way for patience and tolerance too. So you can piss me off once, twice and many times over. If I've tolerated you even after the 100th time, you are probably someone I care a great deal about.

But even then, if you keep hacking away at my pride and leave me with nothing, you can rest assured that you will receive nothing from me in return. Absolutely nothing. Not even a glance, a nod or even an acknowledgement of your pathetic existence.

As what I have updated on my Facebook today - "I may have a high tolerance level, but that doesn't mean I have to maintain it."

You have been warned.