FRANK LEE - MAY 28, 2008 Today I lost another friend. I don't even know how he died. Some said it was a disease. Whatever it was, it was too sudden.
On May 12, 2008, Frank Lee added me as friend on Facebook. A couple of months before that, I bumped into him when I was out shopping. We chatted briefly - and I chirpily made one of those empty promises which now, I would never ever be able to fulfil. I said we should catch up for tea one of these days.
I really like Frank. He's your Mr Nice Guy - patient, kind, softspoken and caring. He's a bit of a geek - but he's always very pleasant to hang out with.
He was also my ex-colleague who had left the company barely a year ago. He is always smiling, always willing to help. He was such a bubbly and optimistic guy that we enjoyed teasing him. To us, he was "Frank Lee Speaking" (a pun on "frankly speaking"). Having worked with him for a while and interacted with him on a daily basis at work previously, his passing left me reeling with extreme shock...and a lot of pain.
In a fatal stroke, everything was taken away from him. His wife-to-be, his future, his career, his life, his family...and our tea date. News of his death drowned me like a tsunami, paralysing my senses. I wanted to deny it so badly. For once in my life, I want to live in this lie.
But the verdict is sickening and final. He's no longer around.
I feel my heart plunging to my stomach. The sense of loss is overwhelming. Why him? Why now? Why does it have to end this way? He was only 32.
Frank - I am so, so sorry. I wished we had met up for tea. I wished I had been more proactive and communicated with you more actively on Facebook. I wished I knew you more. I wished this wasn't real. I wished I was more of a friend than a colleague. I wished I could have done more.
But I know now no matter how hard I wish, you are gone forever. Once again, I was too late.
I really hate this.
Artwork by *Miss-Rita
7 comments:
So it goes that friendships are like backyards: you always want to tend to them but you keep putting it off. Remember them. All too often, in this corner of the world, we don't treasure our friends enough.
Take care of yourself and I hope your friend's family pulls through as well.
P.S.: This is Aristocrat.
words are hard to find in such times. i believe in grief, and grieving so the pain could be slowly released ...not absent, just muted because we can never get over our own memories. may us treasure ties as much as we value time.
I am sorry. Try not to let it take you down. Try to use it a source for motivation to "do" rather than dream or put off until tomorrow.
The danger, of course, is replacing inaction and procrastination with impulsiveness.
I still am struggling with becoming a doer instead of a dreamer. I know my sabbatical 3 years ago was a major component in my healing, not in doing. I havfe been off the past two weeks as Sofia was in Bonn, Germany. I didn't do a whole lot (walked and biked), but I did rest and heal some more.
I think I see my future path clearer, but, I need to consult with Sofia on that.
Take care of yourself, rest and heal.
o dear....i'm so sorry :( that is very sad news and the passing of such a young one is always hard to take in. take care...
it was on the chinese newspapers. He got infected with some cancer.
so sorry to hear that... :(
Life is fragile...
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