I'm a simple girl with a li'l dream, of seeing her humble works in exquisite print, to share with all who feels for words, written with
an unsupressable urge. So indugle in my fantasies, and plow your way through my memories, greatly appreciated you will be,
if you can leave your comments here for me.


Monday, February 13, 2006

If I Were A Man


I often wondered how it would be like to be born a man. Too many times, I've been told that I'm very "man". Something of a faux pas, it seems.

I think they are not referring to the physical attributes - because thank heavens - I believe I still possess some similarities to the fairer sex. What makes me so "man" is probably the way I think, behave, feel, speak and possibly react, under certain circumstances.

Case in point (1):
After a fruitful meal, I stood up and was about to walk across the wet field to get to the car park. It was a much shorter walk really. I was reminded by my boyfriend that most girls would choose the concrete walkway, rather than aim straight for the muddy fields. "Only guys do that!" he'd exclaimed. Girls will be worried about getting their shoes wet and their feet muddy, and of course, the idea of trudging over the grass wouldn't really that appealing and oh-so-unfeminine.

Can you be just a little bit more "girly"? he asked.

Case in point (2):
It was another one of those days when I could never seem to get a waiter's attention. Normally, I would simply wave until someone spots my wobbling fat arms. Sometimes, however, my impatience gets the better of me and a sharp, shrill whistle would escape from my lips. The last time I did that, I was awarded five horror-stricken looks from my friends at the table.

Case in point (3):
Once I was celebrating a romantic occasion with a guy. I created this whole amazing race concept where he had to retrieve a rose from the restaurant staff and crack a code in order to find his seat. When we finally met at the table, he was visibly upset and embarrassed. I found out later that he was extremely uncomfortable being the focus of attention and the unwilling recipient of the rose.

"That's what a man will do for the woman, not the other way round!" he shrieked.

I wish I was a man sometimes.

1. I would command a larger share of voice in the boardrooms.
2. I would be able to romance a woman - and feel good about it.
3. I would be able to flirt shamelessly and get away with it. (Women who do the same are sluts.)
4. I could pee standing up. Best thing is, I don't have to queue outside the cubicles.
5. I could sit with my legs open and still look cool.
6. I could smoke, holler, and talk with my mouth full all at the same time.
7. I don't have to cover my mouth when I laugh out loud.
8. I don't have to worry about getting pregnant.
9. I am free of sanitary towels and tampons.
10. If I do get to the top, it is LESS likely that I get there by sleeping with the boss.
11. I only have one thing on my mind all the time and it starts with "S" and ends with "X".
12. I am not expected to multi-task.

This list is of course, by no means exhaustive. I am sure some of you would have more outrageous reasons why it is so wonderful to be a man.

Meanwhile, I think I should just go paint my nails.

"The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman
is for the desire of the man.” - Madame de Stael


18 comments:

Robin Emmanuel Tan said...

i think you are just being yourself...

thats all...

:)

rob emmanuel

Robin Emmanuel Tan said...

all i can say is.. in the three instances.....

first one.. not all gals haf to walk long way and so on.. so what if it is wet and so on.. its your call... :)

Second one...
All you are trying to do is to get the attention.. thats what ppl will do ... if i was there with you .. i will be laughing my head off.... i do that too ( there isnt a thing that say gals cant do this or that )
YOU GALS ARE HUMAN TOOO!!!

rob emmanuel

Mini_viv said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mini_viv said...

On the positive side, you don't need that much of TLC when your man is busy with work right? Some of my guyfriends describe me as a man trapped in woman's body but of coz I'm still aware of my girl manners. It's a love/hate relationship that sometimes they wanna "Wow" me with some surprises which I had already expect. Most of the times I'm the one that surprise them by bringing them to nice cafes with great ambience and yet so contented with the kopitiam that they brought me to. Still I guess i'm fortunate to have so many "brothers" frm engineering course that nurture me to what i am today.

mel said...

But as a guy, you'll never solve the mystery of the G-spot.

NJS said...

Won't say that what you described to be totally manly or unladylike.

I do know some guys that also avoid the muddy field not wanting to dirty their shoes with mud.

Whistling to the waitor to catch attention is quite crude but effective, who cares really...

I won't mind recieving attention or a rose. (maybe becourse I a Leo -=shrug=-)

And the list of "positive" side of being a man... not every point is positive. But the negative side of being a lady is truly a natural disadvantage you all have- that I agree.

Nonetheless, there's advantages being a lady. To name a few...
1) Don't have to open the door yourself sometimes.
2) Look at the fashion, accessories and apparels for ladies compare for men???? its totally unfair!!!
3) The Woman Charter.
4) The imitacy of a mother and child that a father would never understand or experience.
5) Go clubbing- ladies night.
6) UOB- The men don't get it.
7) Chat line- free line for the ladies?

No point comparing right... Just be happy who you really are!!! It all comes in a package.

absolutjoiz said...

i think i would prefer being a guy too...gals are too troublesome. sometimes guys get so over-protected over me that i feel useless. and yes, i'm very chor lor too.

Solid said...

Ha Ha.. After all these while, you have the skill to keep interesting topic in.. Cheers

Richard said...

I prefer you as a woman.

I find filling stereotypical shoes odd at best and incomprehensible most times.

Just be yourself. Don't try to be a woman, don't try to be a man, just be the best person you can be.

If I was a girl and my bf asked me to be more 'girly', I'd dump him.

Of course, maybe I take exerting no effort to try and please people (other than being a nice guy) and conform to societal roles a little to far - but, on the other hand, I just do what feels natural and right.

Mickell said...

I think i'd still prefer u as a woman too :)

suspiciousbastard said...

#2, #3 and #11 are not true for all guys.

Maybe if you were a guy, you could seduce anyone and get them in your bed in one hour. But it's a rare feat for any guy to accomplish.

Look, some guys have NEVER EVER romanced a woman before. It's quite pathetic for those people. I include myself among them.

Sex and love pale to other things in life. It's more interesting with what one could do with money and power. Or knowledge.

Jade Falcon Elite said...

I think both sexes are wonderful. I have asked many women whether they would prefer to be a guy or a gal if there was a next life. Most replied that they would prefer to remain the sex they are.

Personally, I think for women, giving birth is an extremely daunting thing. I jaws simply dropped when I had to realise that a baby's head and body gotta pop out of there. So that's not such a positive thing in being a women. Women will of course pride themselves in these activity. Too painful you see.

Being a guy in Singapore is tough because of National Service in which in other countries, its usually on a voluntary basis. That's the negative point about being a guy. Guys also have to deal with Women's Charter which really makes things awful for guys in modern days now.

On a fair note, if I had to choose, I would think that being a female is alot better in Singapore. Females can whine, dine, cry, seduce, flirt and "talk softly". They can get away with it. Guys can't.

Just one thing. Be glad u r a girl.

God made you who you are.
Love yourself.
God loves you.
But God loves you too much to leave you the way you are.
He didn't promise you a bed of roses.
He promised he will break you, mould you and change you to be more Christ-like.

Happy Valentine's Day!
Cheers!

Kwai Lan Kia said...

Don think so much la, Miss Elvina. Lim peh, for one, don mind you behave like guy liddat. In fact, things get easier in bed, no?

HA HA HA HA HA!

Oso, if the guy ask why you behave liddat and you angry ... then break off lor!!!!

Then you can consider lim peh ma!!!!

HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Toad wan to eat goose meat :P

suspiciousbastard said...

KLK: I thought you were temporarily gay on Valentine's Day?

On another note, let's get rich instead. Then we can go kick away those women who come after us and have our revenge on womenkind in general(for rejecting us).

Kwai Lan Kia said...

This Suspicious Bastard very bad, always puo huai wo de hao shi one. Lim peh is today gay only wat, tomorrow how?! You ask me become gay forever, lim peh might as well chop my one off and give you better ...

xena princess warrior said...

Hahaha, I know what you mean!! I behave like that too!! I am not a feminist, but i believe that girls should be more xiao sa sometimes... !! ^_^

Runaway said...

The list you put up are indeed luxuries only reserved for guys. Hey girls behave like what you are taught to behave please. We want to see more feminine girls around us, not less, please. Look to the Thai girls ... that is a good first step.

senbai said...

i can see why some men prefer village girls