This has been a really challenging year for me. In fact, the last three years have been extremely trying.
I was working and studying at the same time. When I told my friends that I have not taken leave for three years, they thought I was exaggerating. But it's true. I used up all my leave to cram for the examinations. I had to skip classes for work. Sometimes I even had to bring my notes to read on the plane or in the hotel when I am posted for overseas assignments.
Of course - now that I have completed my studies, I can breathe much better. But this is when the strain is being transferred to yet another critical part of my life. From time poverty - to real poverty.
My family depends so heavily on me to bring home the bacon. I have bills to pay, own expenses to take care of, as well as other "inevitable" expenditure that occurs from time to time - friends' weddings, birthdays, Mother's Day etc. Adding on to that is a huge amount of loans that I have incurred in pursuit of my degree - and which I am now servicing on a monthly basis.
I am so heavily laden with this financial burden that sometimes - my mind just slipped into oblivion. I try to keep this from my family - cos I would not want my mum to worry. But you know, there were times when I really felt that it's just too much to bear - all by myself. It can get pretty depressing when you are living from hand to foot every single month.
But I do try to be optimistic about this dismal situation. Just spend less, wait for bonuses to clear some of the smaller loans, stay home on weekends, and spend most of time sleeping - so that I don't have to eat so many meals a day! Hahaha...
But seriously, I do pray for a release out of this quandary, so that I would not be chained to this financial bondage. And I have faith that my prayers will be answered really soon. :)