I'm a simple girl with a li'l dream, of seeing her humble works in exquisite print, to share with all who feels for words, written with
an unsupressable urge. So indugle in my fantasies, and plow your way through my memories, greatly appreciated you will be,
if you can leave your comments here for me.

Friday, January 19, 2007

da gripe sheet

I must say this is really funny. Stole it from Mindosara's blog - who stole it from someone else's - who possibly snitch it from another mouse and so on and so forth. There's absolutely no more integrity left in the blogging world.

Anyway, have a good laugh.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (as marked with an S) by the maintenance engineers.

By the way, it is relevant to note that Qantas is the only major airline in the world that has never, ever, had an accident!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in the cockpit.
S: Something tightened in the cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of a leak on the right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume reset to a more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: The number 3 engine is missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after a brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one saved for the last..

P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget.

Ha Ha Ha


Jae Hao said...

nice post, can i kope? =)

passerby said...

laughed my heart out... hahah. I am going to "steal" and link to my blog too. :p

Elvina aka LaoNiang said...

kope all you want. it's was too funny tats why i have to steal it too. :P

Merv Kwok said...

hahah this just made my thursday a hell lot better

NJS said...

Reminds me of the "FISH PHILOSOPHY".
Where Work and Fun can and should co-exist, to create a creative and exciting working environment.

Have a Great Friday!

Aristocrat said...

Hilarious!! Haha! Some play with words there man...

Tan Kok Seng said...

I wonder what would show up on an SIA gripe sheet... and what comments they would get...

老星洲 said...

Thanks for the amusement.