year in rewind

Photo by mjagiellicz

one more day to 2007. how time flies. literally. it's like a super jet powered with accelerated turbo engines speeding into yet another zone leaving many people, many memories and many histories behind.

2006 was an interesting year.

Thailand ousted its President in a bloodless coup. Its people are now more frustrated than before.

Singapore chose its ruling party in a highly controversial - and perhaps - the most amusing election ever.

Saddam was executed. Not without the sacrifice of many lives, of course.

I got a new job - which took up much of my time because I have to pick up everything from scratch. New colleagues, new environment, new nuances that come with the work.

But among all these things that are flitting by every day, 2006 to me, is nothing more than a year of great expectations and emotions.

2006 is a year of many broken-hearted souls. much tears and sadness. loss of self worth. extreme disappointment. women i know are going through so much pain everywhere i turn.

they are beautiful and strong in spirit. they are smart and make fantastic conversationalists. all of them have lots of love to offer and are big hearted towards friends and families too.

why is it then that they keep meeting men who are either stringing them along, making excuses for not wanting to commit, blowing hot and cold, or bailing out on them when these girls need them most?

what is wrong with the men? they keep respawning, like the mobs in World of Warcraft. No amount of hellfire can get rid of them.

and the girls keep falling and waltzing around these guys - wishin' & hopin' they will come round one day and accept them.

meanwhile, the guys have moved on. with another life. another woman. another world. another time. they will entertain you from time to time, but that's about it.

many men told me before that if a guy really loves someone, he will go all out for her. there is no need to tap dance around a guy to make him like you. but i see the girls gorging their hearts out to men who trample on them callously and leave them out in the cold to be devoured by wolves. i can't help feeling pained.

the girls say i am a distrusting cynic. talking to me is depressing because i seemed to diss and have nothing good to say about the men in their lives. the very same men whom i predicted are not serious about them and will break their fragile hearts if they don't walk away - fast. somehow, my blunt comments suddenly became self-fulfilling prophecies?

or was i only being perceptive and intuitive, having had so many bad relationships in the past that i can profile any type of man based on the kind of girl he goes for, the things he say, the actions that follow and his thought processes - just like what an FBI criminal profiler would do to identify his UNSUB (also known as unknown suspect).

i pick up all these obvious clues almost instantaneously and can almost map out the next steps these guys are going to say or do. it tortures me as much to see them actually doing the things to my friends as i said they would. this would be the one time in my life i really hate to be right.

but i don't deny i am a cynic, and i may be wrong at times. i may be unforgiving, unrelenting and insensitive. i may be critical and judgemental. but my intentions are not to hurt you but to keep you away from what i perceive is harm.

people ask me for advice. they confide in me. they want my opinions. i am not sure how much of those they can take - because the truth always hurts.

so i am beginning to say less, and just listen more. that's why God gave us a pair of ears and only one mouth, isn't it? i just can't offer anything more than my absolute honesty, and how i truly feel. i don't want to lie to make you feel good. and if i am a cynic, that's because i am who i am, and i survived till today with that mentality so i think i have a good reason to be one.

you can ask me again how I feel 50 years down the road, and my answer will still be the same. they are just not worth it if they cannot return your love. but if i cannot convince you that you are more important than the man who does not care about your heart, the day will come when i will tell you - please just do what you want if it takes that to make you really, really happy.

they used to say time and tide waits for no man.

i wanna say to you - it will definitely NOT wait for any woman.

it sucks. but that's life. leave your baggages behind. things that have passed should stay in the past.

happy new year and move on.
it's 2007 already.