death by the bottle

The song you hear on this blog is Whiskey Lullaby, performed by Brad Paisely and Allison Krauss. It an extremely moving and heartwrenching piece, and I feel a painful stab of sorrow in my heart each time I hear the song.

I know how it feels to be broken so badly that all you wanted to do is "put that bottle to your head and pull the trigger". Such a simple and direct metaphor, but yet so excruciatingly poignant. I hope no one has to ever go through this, and that no matter what love does to you, you should never ever die by the bottle. Or by anything else for that matter.

Life is short, so please....don't make it any shorter.

Lyrics:

She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until' the night

He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said, "I'll love her till I die"
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The Angels sang a whiskey lullaby

La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years, she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until' the night

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the Angels sang a whiskey lullaby

La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la laa


© MR BUBBA MUSIC, INC.

To learn more about the song, check out its story on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whiskey_Lullaby

Relationships are hard

Artwork by *ReehBR

Relationships are hard.

I believe that humans are fundamentally selfish. More often than not, we tend to put ourselves first before others. What we feel. What we think. What we want. What we are looking for. What makes us happy. What makes us comfortable.

That is why when two people enter a relationship, tension and conflict usually follow closely after the petals of love and romance have fallen off.

No one realises that loving someone and being with someone can actually take so much out of you. It is not a simple equation of giving and receiving love in return. A lot of relationships require a hell lot of sacrifice, and an amazing level of tolerance. It demands that you forget your needs and desires sometimes, so that you can fulfil those of your partner. It expects you to be forgiving and understanding , even during the times when you think you have every right to be a bitch. It totally compels you at times even to turn away from who you really are, to be someone else he prefers you to be.

One would like to assume when you love someone, these actions come naturally. You naturally want to be a better person for your partner. But as a human being like everyone else, I am not infallible. I am innately selfish and I cannot change that.

That's why sometimes when the self becomes more important than the other person, conflict becomes inevitable. We can only hear ourselves. Our needs suddenly become more amplified, and nothing else matters but how we feel, what we want. It is so easy to slip back into that selfish state of mind, and how justified it felt at that point in time too.

And it feels liberating to feel like that sometimes. I have always lived my life for others, and allowed them to make me feel guilty for doing otherwise. Even till today. Many times, I have wanted to shed that selfless facade, that all forgiving nature, and scream my lungs out. I want to lash out at all those who have hurt me, and be that selfish bitch who cares only for herself.

I can hear myself screaming, but no one else can. I am too disciplined to let that happen. My upbringing has moulded me into a conformist.

And maybe that's why relationships are so much harder these days. We are in conflict not only with the person we are with, but with ourselves as well. The war we fight internally rages on, even during the good times. Because deep inside, we want to live for ourselves. We want to be ourselves. But in a relationship, the couple should always take precedent over the self for it to last, and hence the self has to be locked away in the depths of our heart.

It's for the greater good, they say.

Relationships are hard. They are a beautiful dream to possess, but a harsh reality to live in.

And for a person like myself, it may take me forever to come to terms with that.

The Ugly Truth

I watched The Ugly Truth today, and found it to be surprisingly refreshing and hilarious. Although rated crass and even crude by some critics, this movie cuts painfully close to reality.

Gerard Butler plays a TV host who dishes out advice on dating, sex and relationships - and is brutally blunt about what men are looking for in a woman - tits and ass. In the show, he claims that men don't fall in love with personalities; they fall for what turns them on in the first instance. Men - according to his theory, cannot be trained. Their life lessons stopped at toilet training, and it's almost impossible to change or train them. They are simple, and their needs even more so.

He revealed many other interesting tidbits - which I suspect many women already know, but are in denial and refusing to accept as what he calls the "Ugly Truth". Men love a woman with sex appeal. They are adverse to control freaks. They don't really care for your problems. Women don't need self help books - they need a stairmaster to get them in shape so that men would look at them, admire their shapely curves and imagine what it would be like to bed them. Flirt, play games, pretend to be someone you're not, wear sexy clothes that capitalize on your assets - if you plan to snare the guy you want.

It's depressing I know - yet I hate to admit that the movie rings of so much truth. I have dated many men in my life, and maybe it's really my luck that 90% of the men I have met, kissed and dated, were exactly as what Gerard Butler has described in the movie. They are all visual creatures, loved to be seduced, not remotely interested in your sob stories, and would very much prefer to spend their time frolicking in bed then go picnicking in the park.

Some women may say that this only applies to the bad boys we tend to fall head over heels in love for. But somehow, I have this nagging feeling that it applies to all men. They are who they are, and probably this is exactly how they are wired. We just didn't want to believe it because our desire to be romanced by Mr Right outweighs our ability to comprehend that men is far more simpler than we think they are.

Like what my guy used to say,"The truth hurts, but it will set you free."

Inspired by Steve Santagati, author of "A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate--and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top".