I have been thinking about many things.
God. People. Love. Hate. Faith. Truth. Reality. Friendship. Work. Life.
I get overwhelmed sometimes by the many things I know, the stories I hear, the actions I see. Sometimes I wish I wasn't aware...it would make life much easier.
I guess there's a reason for everything - but I am not sure at this point what it is, or what it was.
It has been an emotionally charged period - not so much for me, but for many of my friends. People I like, people whom I am fond of, people who I truly care about. I see and hear so much pain over the last few months, it felt almost like my own.
They came to me - pouring their heart and soul out - seeking comfort, a listening ear or for some, maybe even a resolution. I don't have all the answers - and the burden of truth weighs so heavily on me some times, I am not sure what advice to give anymore so that I would not come across as merely paying lip service.
The stories unfolded with heartwrenching scripts. Depressing to say the least.
A woman who married her first boyfriend 20 years ago picked up her divorce papers today. A victim from years of child abuse, she is now undergoing treatment for manic depression. Her husband found love in the arms of a nightclub hostess recently and left her in shambles, in debt and in a big freaking mess. Of course, the plot goes much more complicated than that, but it takes a very cold, unfeeling heart to do what he has done to my friend.
Someone who I hold very dear lost her baby last week. I couldn't hug her cos she wouldn't allow me near her. I understand she needed time alone, but it kills me inside knowing that she is going through hell alone without me by her side.
My colleague had a nervous breakdown. I have always known him as a happy-go-lucky, optimistic and highly positive guy. I learnt once again not to judge a book by its cover when I saw the despair in his bloodshot eyes. No one knew but me. I wrote him a note to encourage him for I know not how else to help.
A casual chat with an ex-colleague last week led to yet another counselling session. This time, money was the key perpetrator. Her desperation to have a better life for her family streamed down her face, and scorched my heart like acid. I could only listen - helplessly.
There were more, and I try my best to take each one as they come. I listen. I speak with deliberation, tip-toeing over the raw sensitive areas. I offer my most sincere empathy, and whatever help within my means. But the obstacles surged like towering infernos, consuming and destroying everything within sight, and I felt nothing I do could put out the raging flames.
God. People. Love. Hate. Faith. Truth. Reality. Friendship. Work. Life.
I get overwhelmed sometimes by the many things I know, the stories I hear, the actions I see. Sometimes I wish I wasn't aware...it would make life much easier.
I guess there's a reason for everything - but I am not sure at this point what it is, or what it was.
It has been an emotionally charged period - not so much for me, but for many of my friends. People I like, people whom I am fond of, people who I truly care about. I see and hear so much pain over the last few months, it felt almost like my own.
They came to me - pouring their heart and soul out - seeking comfort, a listening ear or for some, maybe even a resolution. I don't have all the answers - and the burden of truth weighs so heavily on me some times, I am not sure what advice to give anymore so that I would not come across as merely paying lip service.
The stories unfolded with heartwrenching scripts. Depressing to say the least.
A woman who married her first boyfriend 20 years ago picked up her divorce papers today. A victim from years of child abuse, she is now undergoing treatment for manic depression. Her husband found love in the arms of a nightclub hostess recently and left her in shambles, in debt and in a big freaking mess. Of course, the plot goes much more complicated than that, but it takes a very cold, unfeeling heart to do what he has done to my friend.
Someone who I hold very dear lost her baby last week. I couldn't hug her cos she wouldn't allow me near her. I understand she needed time alone, but it kills me inside knowing that she is going through hell alone without me by her side.
My colleague had a nervous breakdown. I have always known him as a happy-go-lucky, optimistic and highly positive guy. I learnt once again not to judge a book by its cover when I saw the despair in his bloodshot eyes. No one knew but me. I wrote him a note to encourage him for I know not how else to help.
A casual chat with an ex-colleague last week led to yet another counselling session. This time, money was the key perpetrator. Her desperation to have a better life for her family streamed down her face, and scorched my heart like acid. I could only listen - helplessly.
There were more, and I try my best to take each one as they come. I listen. I speak with deliberation, tip-toeing over the raw sensitive areas. I offer my most sincere empathy, and whatever help within my means. But the obstacles surged like towering infernos, consuming and destroying everything within sight, and I felt nothing I do could put out the raging flames.
I keep wondering why people come to me, even strangers - unloading their baggage and sad tidings with ease and trust, even though they know they may walk away with nothing to gain from me. Most of the time I can offer nothing more than me - and my time.
I couldn't stop anything from happening.
And I'm sorry I couldn't help more than I wanted to. I have never felt more helpless than I am now.
I couldn't stop anything from happening.
And I'm sorry I couldn't help more than I wanted to. I have never felt more helpless than I am now.
